Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Homewrecker or honest mistake?

I'm happily married to my husband of 5 years. we have a good relationship. and we've overcome many obstacles together, but there seems to be one issue that we just can't agree and decide on.... my husband was raised very old fashioned and was taught to be polite, friendly, to tip his hat to the ladies, shake hands with a firm grip, and look people in the eye when being spoken to.. but...there is a married women who is friendly with my husband, his parents, and other extended family members but she dislikes me!! she has not made it be known in person that she dislikes me, but all the signs in her behavior are a dead giveaway.. she and i have a little history of problems that I have explained to my husband and let him know that I dislike that she speaks to him and that she treats me with disrespect.. he tells me I have nothing to worry about and that I can trust him, and I've told him that it has nothing to do with trust or that I think he'll cheat, its the fact that her intentions aren't innocent nor are they honest, and she gets some satisfaction out of speaking to him or seeing him. I'm needing advice on what to do!?!?!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Sep. 6, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • my husband was raised very old fashioned and was taught to be polite, friendly, to tip his hat to the ladies, shake hands with a firm grip, and look people in the eye when being spoken to


    Why is this old fashioned?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:56 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • With my husband I would let it be. I trust him to handle any conversation/situation that comes up. My dh works close to his last serious ex GF and she makes no bones about the fact that she wants what I have - and she has used those words. He runs into her fairly often at lunchtime due to a small number of restaurants close. I don't even give her a 2nd thought because I trust him.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:57 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • He is just being polite, I'm guessing you guys don't see her often?


    In my opinion you should just ignore her...be nice though, just pay it no mind.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 8:57 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • She has not made it known, but her behavior is a dead giveaway - that's a contradiction. If it's obvious in her behavior, then it is known. Frankly, it sounds to me like you're making something out of nothing because you don't like her. You say she is friendly with him and his family, so it doesn't sound to me like there is anything going on here except for you not liking her and possibly her not liking you in return. There's not a single thing you say there that sounds like your husband has done anything inappropriate, or that she is doing anything to try to break up your marriage - therefore, she's not a homewrecker. And there's no mistake in anything you describe - except for you turning this molehill into a mountain.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:58 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • So you already had a history with this woman? Prior to your relationship with you're hubby? Anyway,..

    I would tell you're husband that it's time to distance yourselves from this person. If he was raised to be polite and respectful and he is very well aware that this woman is being rude and disrespectful to you then you would think that he would "call her out" on it and explain to her in front of you and anyone else that's present that you will no longer tolerate the way she treats you, or all together stay away from her and avoid her at family functions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • @ Virginiamama71.."old fashioned" is a term my husband uses often because he rarely sees it anymore. =]] @ missanc I just find her behavior disrespectful towards me and that she makes it a point to speak to my husband..especially when I'm not present.. but when I am present, she doesn't speak to him.. =]] now if her intentions were innocent and honest why would she do that?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:06 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • Thank you all for your comments, they are all very helpful..=]]
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:08 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • I think her behavior is a very long way from home wrecker material. If I were you I'd drop it. It's not worth the energy you're affording it.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 9:10 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • "he makes it a point to speak to my husband..especially when I'm not present.. but when I am present, she doesn't speak to him.. "

    Because it pisses you off. If she was trying to wreck your home, she'd be talking to him at ALL times whether you're there or not. She's just trying to tick you off, and it's obviously working.

    You're making too much of all this.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:14 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • If she really wanted to piss you off she would talk to him right In front of you. How do you know she is speaking to him when you are not there?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:30 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN