Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do judge other parents based on how they look instead of their character?

My BFF has 2 kids and she's a great mom. Her kids are in the 5th and 7th grade and both are honor roll students and she's strict with both. My friend also has many tattoos, has the half-shaved hair style dresses like a she's still in her 20s and she's 32. While we were out at a bar for girl's night out last night, this woman saw a tattoo of her 2 kids and told her that's she's on welfare and paid for her tats and clothes with TANF. My friend owns a hair salon and has been married to her husband (who is a police officer) since they were 18 and they make good money. Me and the rest of our friends defended her by saying that the woman has issues and she doesn't know her personally for her to judge. Don't you hate that?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Sep. 6, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Do I? No I try not to, and most certainly never out loud! It can be hard for me to understand when I see women or men out and about when they look horrible(meaning dressed real bad(meaning clothes not covering or clearly dirty etc) and just unkept). Though I would never dream of saying something to a person and I try not to judge either, but I can admit at times I do.

    There isn't really anything else I come close to judging about.....They could be cross dressers and I wouldn't care lol
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 9:17 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • sort of...first impressions are important and i'll be honest and admit that i do judge ppl by their appearances...at first. i would have thought less of someone like you described, but i would have said to myself..."why do you think that? thats rude! you know nothing about her!" and then id be on my way.

    we all make first impression judgements, whither good or bad...its what we do with those judgements that define our character. no matter what i thought i would NEVER say something like that to anyone. its none of my business what someone does with their lives...and id never make the jump from "you look like X therefore you must be on public assistance"...thats just foolish.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 9:48 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • No I don't judge by how someone looks. In this case it just sounds like that Woman at the bar had "beer balls" & was nothing but drunk to even say those things to a stranger (your friend). I would have just ignored her & not even paid attention.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:50 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • That was just ignorant. I don't judge other mom's by their appearance. I certainly wouldn't want others to judge me on my worst days, or least attractive days. But if they do, no love lost. I don't have time to give a shit what other people think of me. I take care of my kids and my family and I am always willing to pitch in to help when someone needs something.

    I would have offered to buy the lady a beer and then say, 'sorry, all out of TANF for the month'. But I'm sarcastic like that.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:54 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • I try not to...I do judge if they are not paying attention to their kid like at the library and the child leaves the room while the mother is on the computer and my four year old came to tell me. The child was under 2. Also judge a mother whole is filling out paperwork and the older sibling is shacking the babies head. Those things I judge. I am sure I been judged...but I am so wrapped up in what we are doing and probably don't pay attention . To each their own. That lady was rude to your friend,
    libramoon007

    Answer by libramoon007 at 10:18 AM on Sep. 7, 2013

  • I have learned the hard way that looks are superficial and to never assume anything about someone's character, by looking at the body outside and how they dress or look...character goes way deeper than that....
    older

    Answer by older at 11:31 AM on Sep. 7, 2013

  • I can't see what people look like, so I'm pretty sure I'm nonjudgmental when it comes to appearance. I try to live and let live as much as I possibly can, since I feel I get judged a lot as a disabled parent. Strangers will think it's perfectly appropriate to say things to me like that it isn't fair to my child that she has a blind mom. I tink what was said to your friend is nothing less than appalling, but I guess I would say, consider the source. It was some drunk chick at a bar.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 7:45 PM on Sep. 7, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN