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Thinking out loud...opinions?

Sunday I'm supposed to go to my Mother's house. My sisters will be there too, it's her Birthday. My Son starts school Monday & I really wanted to make it short & sweet to get him home & to bed (with the baby) early.
No one has any plans for food & I keep asking them all what are we eating & what to bring food wise. I have to feed my 2 kids. No one else has kids. No one made a plan. So my Mother says "lets order food in". Now, I am really tight on money & I cannot do take out for us (my DH, Me & one kid, I'll bring food for the baby).

My Sister says I haven't decided yet about food. My other sister is just along for the ride. My Mom is on a cooking strike & they said have your DH BBQ for us. So that means I have to bring everything. I am the one who does every holiday/Birthday & I'm fed up.

BTW, I doubt my Mom's BBQ has propane in it either. My Sisters can't have anyone in their homes (I have no idea why they cannot do any event. One sister's home is a museum & the other has a Dog she doesn't want to get upset with company). It has to be done on a Sunday because one sister works on Saturday & has off Sunday & Monday.

So, I think I am just going to flag it all. Stay home. Maybe bring the kids over on a Saturday to give her a gift & bring bagels. Otherwise it's a mad rush to get over there 30 miles each way, eat & get home early anyway. Let the "got bucks take her to dinner".

Thanks for the vent & I'm going anon.

They should write a book about my family, no one would believe it.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Sep. 6, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Family, the other F word! Sorry, don't have any advice, mine's a pain in the ass, too.

    Answer by Ballad at 4:08 PM on Sep. 7, 2013

  • "Oh no, baby is sick. I think we're going to have to cancel"

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 10:41 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • So if you decide to go then bring cupcakes and have a little desert mid day and then leave to get home in time to make dinner at your house. Or just skip it and plan a day that works better for you.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:22 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • Actually I like both of the above ideas.
    It is not your job to entertain or provide food for everyone else all the time. I can understand your mother saying that it is her day and she should not have to cook, but that does not apply to the other too.
    You could also sho up early and cook your mom brunch right there in her own kitchen. Just you and your family and your mother and give her the gift and excuse yourself before the others come.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:17 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • Eat before you go. Assume they don't care since that's how they are acting. Let them know you will not be supplying food if you think they are expecting it. Or eat after. Not your problem...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:55 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • The point of "taking charge" (in the sense of telling them what to bring or make & deciding what your own contribution will be) is that you DON'T end up buying everything including dessert! You take on what you can manage & afford. If you think there's likely no propane, it's not the best plan. But the point is that you would take charge of the delegating & would plan it so that everything does NOT fall to you.
    And if it fails (because the sisters don't deliver on their ends) then it fails, no rescue.

    However, I like the suggestion to plan for your visit to fall at a non-mealtime. Let them know that ordering in sounds great but that you are not up for it (cost & logistics make it undesirable), so you plan to arrive after lunch with cupcakes, enjoy a birthday celebration with your mom, then head home in time to fix dinner. You're bringing plenty for all,and if sisters want to order in with Mom later, "that would be perfect."

    Answer by girlwithC at 5:07 AM on Sep. 7, 2013

  • Why don't you decide what you are going to make/ bring and then assign the others. If your DH is going to BBQ then Sis #1 can bring XYZ and so one. You just take charge.

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:09 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • I would because that's what I always do but I am really tight on money & I would end up buying everything including dessert while they sit & act annoyed to be rushed to eat since I have to leave early to get my Son home, wound down & in bed early for school. If one Sister buys any food then she'll go before she gets there & will be late from shopping. My other Sister plants her butt & just does nothing. My Mom expects everyone to pay for everything since it's "her day". I already bought her a gift.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:16 PM on Sep. 6, 2013

  • Thank you! All great ideas...I will mull this over.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:55 AM on Sep. 7, 2013