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Have you ever been in love or loved someone and they did not feel the same?

You've been dating someone for a while and realize you love them or are in love with them but the other person isn't to that "step" yet. What do you do? Do you wait around to see if they will? Do you distance yourself from them? What do you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Sep. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Move on. If they don't feel the same, you're wasting your time, and there's definitely someone out there that will.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:06 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • I've never been in that situation, but my husband was in love with me before I was sure enough of my feelings for him to say it. I am glad he waited, but we were in a committed relationship at the time. I don't think he would have stayed, and I wouldn't have expected him to, if we hasn't been pretty serious.
    For me, it depends on how far the other person is away from being in love. Are they committed? Ready to settle down? Or are they playing the field and partying?

    Answer by missanc at 11:10 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • We've been exclusive and very committed to one another. I don't know how close or far away he is from feeling that way. It's a great relationship so I obviously don't want to throw it away but at the same time, I don't know how to deal with the fact that I feel that way and he doesn't.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:25 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • I had a passionate love with someone I thought was the one for me...but one day after 2 yrs into the relationship, we attended a wedding of a mutual friend...he said something to me about never trusting anyone to marry them and did not believe in marriage for that reason...I was very upset, and in the anger of the moment, I broke up with him...regretting every minute afterwards for the break up...I longed for this man....he then told me that what we had was not real, and he never really loved heart was very confused...because no one can fake love for 2 long years..never understood why he said that, or if it was even true.....but after all was said and done, I met my now husband..he showed me he had what the other lacked. So you see the moral of the story here is this: follow your heart..everything happens for a reason....

    Answer by older at 11:37 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • If this man does not feel the same way you is time for you to show him what life is like without you......I would distance myself even though it is going to hurt like is better for a little hurt than a lifetime of hurt with a man who does not reciprocate your love.


    Answer by older at 11:39 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Life's too short. I'm not saying walk out the door tonight, but I would at least set a tentative time limit for yourself. Say, if nothing has changed in six months, re-evaluate the relationship. Months can easily stretch into years, and you can be so busy wishing for what you don't have that you don't go out and look for what you want.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:43 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • We have not been together for very long and never did I think I would fall for him, this early none the less. I'm the first girl he's been very serious with (brought around his friends, traveled with, made future plans with, etc) since his divorce that was around 4 years ago. I've dated guys in the past for several months (6 and 8) whom I never felt love for however I've also said "I love you" after only two months. I can't fault him for not feeling the same way about me but I don't understand the point of continuing to be with someone if your feelings for them are not growing.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:48 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • If you're having sex, STOP.
    Everyone's true feelings will come out then.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:28 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Time for a serious conversation. Ask him about his life goals, where he wants to be in 10 years, etc and see if those plans include you. That should tell you a lot about where he is in the relationship.

    Answer by missanc at 2:11 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Exactly how long have you been together? If it's only been a few months, then it's ok that he isn't in the same place as you. If it's been 2 years then he will never be in the same place as you. My husband was 'in love' with me before I was in love with him. I needed to make sure that I could trust him with my heart.

    Answer by slw123 at 4:50 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

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