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2 Bumps

Morning battle getting ready for school- my 9 year old daughter is leaving us both very angry and acting out

I can't get her on track to get ready. Time is running out I am yelling, She threw her hair brush at window. We are both feeling awful, sorry, and I am affraid she hates me.

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Asked by mtoman at 10:56 AM on Sep. 9, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Family counseling.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:59 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Be the boss and tell her she will get up, get ready, eat, brush teeth, comb hair, no questions, just do it. If she knows what's expected, and you're not going to budge, then she'll do it. You have to stick to your guns. If she rebels then set consequences, and stick to them. Take away anything she loves, and give tough chores until she realizes you're serious. We have 3 boys that are 10, 11, and 17 that know I mean business when it comes to getting up, and getting ready for school.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:04 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Do you have a hard time getting her up? Is she just slow? Wake her up earlier.

    Answer by missanc at 11:05 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Try having her lay everything out the night before. Including what she wants for breakfast. If she doesn't have her hair brushed before she heads out the door it's not the end of the world. Let her go looking that way. The biggest thing is for her to make it to school on time. Not how she looks. Don't get upset about it. Let her have a say in what she wears & what she does with her hair. An option might be short hair until she can take care of it. Much easier to deal with.

    My youngest is 5 and going to K. She refused to let me brush her hair so she went that way. When she came home she was upset because kids laughed at her. (She's got naturally curly hair that looks a fright when not combed) Next morning she brought ME the brush.

    Answer by baconbits at 11:09 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • what did you do differently with the teen at this age?

    Answer by feralxat at 11:09 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Is there something happening at school that the kid doesn't want to tell you about, something that makes her dread going? That would be my first thought. If she's just slow, wake her up earlier, and also set a direct consequence for grouchiness. My five-year-old knows that if she wakes up crabby and argues and pokes around, she'll lose her half hour of TV after dinner and go to bed earlier instead. I had to enforce that rule a couple of times, but now pretty much all I need to do is remind her of it to straighten out her attitude if it starts to go south.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:38 AM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Do you prepare everything for School the night before? Pack her backpack, make lunch ready to pack up, put out clothes & shoes? If my Son doesn't wake by 7:15 then I wake him. If he's not out of the bed by 7:30 then I take him out. He goes downstairs, gets dressed (i put his clothes out), gets in the chair, eats breakfast, gets out, I wash his face, brush his teeth & then he gets 10 minutes to do what he wants then shoes on, grab the backpack & we walk to the bus. Bus comes at 8:30.

    So, what is your routine?

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:01 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • ^^^BTW, he's 6.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:01 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Yep, mine can be a pain in the butt sometimes too. She's 11. But she knows what she needs to get done & what time we're leaving. If it's a day I have to work, she knows she better not make me late. If she's not sticking to the schedule, the 1st thing I say is that maybe an earlier bed time is needed & that usually speeds thing along. I do hate when mornings get off on the wrong foot & will make it a point to give her a big hug & tell her I love her before she leaves for school. Either that, or I sometimes slip a note in her lunch :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 12:13 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Is she going to bed late and just lazy in the morning, or is something possibly going on in school that you want to pay closer attention to. Maybe a reward system for being on time is something I like to follow. It teaches the advantages to punctuality.

    Answer by JackScorpio at 12:24 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

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