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My stupid nephew is going to get his stupid girlfriend pregnant! VENT!!!

He just graduated h.s. and works a part-time job. He has an entitled, spoiled attitude because of the way he's been raised. My sis-in-law is a single mom, and his dad has never been in the picture. They live with grandpa, who indulges him. He has never had to face consequences for his actions. My sis-in-law complains her father undermines her, but she's never moved out.(I think she's too afraid to get out of her comfort zone.) I think Grandpa spoils him, bc he doesn't have a dad. He's created a monster!

He's 18 and now dating a 22 year old single mom. According to my son, he BRAGS about having unprotected sex EVERYDAY! They've been dating 2 weeks. He said she's allergic to condoms and can't use the pill, so they use NO PROTECTION! He's not worried about her getting pregnant, and her 1 year old calls him "Daddy"! How messed up is this!

Yesterday, his mom walked in on them having sex in his bedroom, but he denied it to her! Grandpa knew they were upstairs in his bedroom for hours, and said nothing. Mom asked Grandpa to help her lay down house rules, but he refused to. Gramps said it's her fault the son is having sex openly in the house and disrespecting them! Gramps is an old fashioned, church going guy, so i'm shocked he let this go on under his roof!

My sis-in-law is hystrical. She thinks this girl is trouble and is too old for her son. She is also upset that her dad won't lay down house rules and back her up!

She doesn't even know this girl already has a child! She also doesn't know they're having unprotected sex! I can't say anything, because my son told me in confidence! I am so upset about all of this! He's going to get this girl pregnant, and has no way to provide for a child! In our family, abortion isn't an option. But I don't believe in intentionally bringing children into the world, that you have no way to provide for! Actually, my son said that nephew said Obama will give them money for everything! UGH!

Any insight or wisdom appreciated! I feel powerless to stop a trainwreck in motion!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Sep. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • Abortion not being an option in your family doesn't exactly apply when it's not your body. I'd love to know how you could possibly force this girl to continue an unwanted pregnancy if that's how she feels about it.

    I agree though, she sounds like a tramp. There are many methods of birth control out there. If Grandpa won't help lay down ground rules, she needs to step up to the plate and do it by herself.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 3:09 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • I meant no one would push for abortion as an option. I also suspect the girl may be looking at a pregnancy as a money making opportunity. Gramps indulges nephew and has a lot of money. Gramps would also think she did the "right" thing by having the baby! This is such a mess!

    It's not sis-in-law's house. It's her dad's, and he constantly tells HER,"If YOU don't like my rules, then leave!" I would have moved out a long time ago, if I were her!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:16 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Yeah, your family not believing in abortion really doesn't matter. She's in charge there, and if she decides she wants an abortion, short of kidnapping and holding her hostage, it's out of your hands.

    It does sound like a bad situation, but it doesn't sound like anyone involved is capable of handling it. Your nephew was obviously not taught very well about sex and responsibility, and that fault lies with his mother, and if Mom was relying on Grandpa to help raise him, with his grandfather. And they still aren't willing to step up and try to put a stop to it. So, I guess all you can do right now is hope like hell that some force sees what a miserable situation this is and ensures she doesn't get pregnant.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:17 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • I don't want to turn this into an abortion debate. I just none of us would encourage her to terminate a pregnancy.

    I don't know why my nephew is so self-destructive! He's been indulged his whole life!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:30 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • How about this isn't your problem, let his mother deal with him, and mind your own kids.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 3:34 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • I feel bad knowing stuff that she doesn't even know yet!

    I also feel bad that her father won't form a united front with her! I wish she moved out years ago! How do you parent when you're in a child's roll?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:37 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • None of your business. Yes, it's sad and yes, it's irresponsible but it's none of your business. This is up to the parent(s) to deal with.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 3:41 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Mn my husband was your stupid nephew!! We got married & had a baby after three years of dating. It's not your business, concentrate on your own kids and let the kid figure out his life.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 3:41 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • It shouldn't matter if it's his house or not, but she should be contributing to living there if she's not already. You don't stop parenting your kids just because you're not on the house deed.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 3:43 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • I would just ask if she is having open dialogs with her son, when the subject of the two of them comes up, as you know it will.
    You can be as uncomfortable as you like and innocently ask if she knows if thy are at least using protection?

    Does sis in law have a job?
    You migt encourage her to get a place of her own.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:44 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

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