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Visitation and requirements?

I am in Iowa. I have two kids 5 and 3. a son and daughter. Well their father has been hounding me for visitation and well we made an agreement that he wouldn't bring his new girlfriend of like 2 days around the kids just yet and I'd let them visit for a few hours after school on Friday and planned for all day Saturday. Well when I picked the kids up this last Friday night my daughter whose 5 got in the car telling me she met daddy's girlfriend and she was laying in bed next to daddy and said she was going to spend the night and said they were kissing in front of her. I brought this up to him and his response is "so what". He is also mad because I didn't let them spend the night. I said just where are they going to sleep if she's in your bedroom (he lives with his mother in a 2 bedroom house and he has one room his mom has the other also things in the house work only half the time and there is random people that come and go) and his response was "oh id throw a bed or something up in the living room". so I've also been going around and around about them not spending the night there, because of not having separate sleeping places for the kids. He says I am being unfair and a bitch and its my way or no way and says I'm punishing him for leaving me and so on

So I'm wondering what is your opinions about this situation?
Does anyone know what the rules/requirements are for a father to have their children spend the night in Iowa?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Sep. 9, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • You need to get court ordered visitation, otherwise, regardless of what you want he can do what he wants with the kids.

    Answer by kmath at 3:59 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • I'm not sure what the rules are, but what does the court order say? If it says he can keep them overnight, then you might want to let him until you can get it changed - otherwise, he can beat you into court and claim you're interfering.

    If there's no order, I'd get one in place, and I'd make sure that it stipulates, at the very least, that he cannot have girlfriends around the kids.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:32 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Do you not have a custody agreement?
    I would get one in place and then you do not need to discuss it further. You will have the rules. You can naturally be more flexible that the court allows as can he. You should also have a child support agreement through the court.

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:37 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Get it on paper!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:21 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • If you don't have a visitation agreement, it is ANYBODY'S WAY, as long as he doesn't miss payments, you have nothing on paper, he could do whatever he wants, call someone and get a custody order in place, but by that time his new girlfriend will most like be around for more than 2 days, and remember what is good for the gander is good for the goose, meaning he can demand you don't have your current boyfriend around him as well.
    I find this story as well difficult to believe that a woman told your child she "was spending the night", good try though! He lives with his mother, has random people in and out, and you even send your kids there at all? I can't imagine my husband's mother putting up with such craziness, how about he visits them at your home, and you take a walk, go to a movie?

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:17 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Back to court you go.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:54 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • no visitation order is set but there is one for child support

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:44 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

  • Well if you do not have visitaion from the court. Then it is your way or no way.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:34 PM on Sep. 9, 2013

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