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Should I quit or just be miserable?

Two years ago, I started a Brownie troop With my daughters friends mom. It was the only way that we could be certain that our daughters would be in the same troop. A year into it, I realized that it was a huge mistake. She didn't register the girls as she said she would, and there were several other LEADER things she didn't do. By the end of the second year, I had had enough and started talks with another leader in hopes to bridge the two troops together and this woman would just be as non helpful as she had been. I had pulled almost all the moms in the Brownie troop to keep it all together. Right before the bridging ceremony, she did a complete 180 on me and made a wooden bridge for the girls to cross and even designed a cake for the ceremony. Now she's befriended the other leader and has a calendar, planning dates, etc. Before, she couldn't even give me the dates her daughter was with her and not the ex! We had gotten together over the summer and discussed a website. I had already started a blog, but the layout was weird, so I flipped it to this Wix.com website and showed the new leader. I told her I would flip everything from the blog. Then security issues came up, so I locked it down. Then they wanted to have access so it was more troop related and not me related. So I created an email address and password so we could all three have access. Now the one says, what is wrong with this snapfish site. I told her I didn't have any time in the near future to handle creating a whole new one. She said she would help. I told the head that three cooks would be to much. I had told her to just let my daughter in her troop and we'd let the old troop go it's own way. Now I am going to break my daughters heart by telling her I am stepping down from being the co-leader because this woman has won. I HATE her and I don't like feeling/acting this way. She has ruined girl scouts for me and I am trying to hold it together for my daughter.

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augsmom

Asked by augsmom at 2:29 PM on Sep. 10, 2013 in Relationships

Level 9 (357 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Does your dau like the other girls in the troop? Will she be able to have a good time if you are there or not? No offense, but I would enjoy the time off & having less responsibilities. What has the other woman won? More headaches if you ask me. Relax & enjoy your free time :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:36 PM on Sep. 10, 2013

  • I had a similar experience and I had to just let it go. I kept my daughter in for one more year, but it had affected both of us, so after that last year she was no longer interested in staying in anyways.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 2:42 PM on Sep. 10, 2013

  • She has ruined girl scouts for me and I am trying to hold it together for my daughter.


    Girl Scouts should really be more about your daughter, not you.  If your DD is happy, then I don't really understand what the big deal is.  Some people just don't work well together.  Maybe the other mom and the other troop leader are just more effective at working together than you were with the other mom.  I can see how it would bother you and kind of piss you off, but do you really HATE her over all of this?  

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:44 PM on Sep. 10, 2013

  • Oh, and if quitting is your only alternative to being miserable, then absolutely quit. If your DD is happy and you stay and be miserable then that might rub off on her. Stepping down as a leader doesn't mean that you won't be involved.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:47 PM on Sep. 10, 2013

  • I HATE her because she let me down! I know it's for the girls. But she's ruined the part where me and my daughter were doing it together. I HATE her because she went all 180 on me. I don't hate anyone! But I can't stand to get 20 emails from them!
    augsmom

    Comment by augsmom (original poster) at 2:48 PM on Sep. 10, 2013

  • Then maybe sit down and talk with the other troop leader to see how different responsibilities could be delegated between the three of you. Then she won't only be responsible in front of you, but in front of someone else as well. And instead of resenting her for not stepping up earlier, try to find the positives in her stepping up now. Especially to be a better role model for her DD. I know it sucks to be let down, but if you don't try to get something positive from it, your DD might start to feel that vibe and start to not like scouts as well.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:54 PM on Sep. 10, 2013

  • It was supposed to be something like that! For example the website! But now after it's all set up she wants to go another route with a whole new website.
    augsmom

    Comment by augsmom (original poster) at 3:00 PM on Sep. 10, 2013

  • So you feel like she is going behind your back and trying to shut you out with the other troop leader? Just address it with the other leader and then plan a meeting for the three of you to sit down. Then work on what responsibilities you each have. Any emails should be shared among all of you when it has to do with the troop, so start copying both of them on any troop related correspondence.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 3:04 PM on Sep. 10, 2013

  • Talk to her.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:11 PM on Sep. 10, 2013

  • Actually, three cooks may be just what's needed. One of you to handle ABC, the next to handle DEF, and the third to take on XYZ. Delegate tasks. Each of you is SOLELY responsible for what's delegated to you and for nothing else. You only need the input of all three when troop money is involved.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:46 AM on Sep. 11, 2013

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