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What do you think?

I admit I can be a little sensitive when it comes to my kids ! So this is why I want to get some opinions before addressing this if I even do...
I posted today about my son having anxiety about school , well today I come home , he tells me that he cried twice and went to the nurse once... So naturally I asked questions... A few things bothered me and I want to know if I'm being over the top...first time he said he wanted to go home and started crying she just said "you'll be ok" then at lunch he told her he didn't feel good she said "you're not going home" then he said can u take me to the nurse, she said nothing and walked him to the nurse... I know that he does have to tough it out but he's only into his fourth day of 1st grade.. I just feel like she could have offered him a little bit of comfort.. Honestly what's your opinion , am I being too sensitive or do I have a point...me personally , my heart hurts when kids are upset or scared and I would comfort them

 
mlmsm928

Asked by mlmsm928 at 5:39 PM on Sep. 11, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 17 (4,280 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • It depends on how old the teacher is. If she is very young then she is probably inexperienced in handling the situation and may need some feedback as to what works best with your child. I don't believe in using the "puppy training" strategy with every child. Some children will be more traumatized if not given the right support when they need it most. I agree that the 4th day at school is still very early in the ballgame to be treating him like a seasoned pro. Giving him support doesn't necessarily mean she has to invest 10 minutes. Words are powerful messengers and body language as well. It sounds like she is either too experienced and has been desensitized to a child's separation anxiety or too inexperienced to handle it properly. Either way I would offer my feedback so that she knows that you have good communication with your child and are made aware of everything that takes place during the school day. That alone may help.
    alialicea

    Answer by alialicea at 7:41 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • Ok, I imagine he's in a class of, say, 30 kids. Now, say that she needs 10 minutes to calm a child down. If she did that for EVERY child that would be 300 minutes, or 5 hours of the day. That's almost the entire school day wasted, trying to calm down an over emotional child.

    If he's having THAT much trouble in the classroom without you, then maybe you should look into volunteering in the room at least once a week.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 5:50 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • My Son is also in first grade this year but here is my take on it from experience in kindergarten. They don't want to baby/comfort him too much because then he will learn to act sad to get attention & what he wants which is not the best thing every time. He says he doesn't feel good to go to the Nurse & maybe go home to YOU. So she said "you will be OK" which he will be at school. Then he tried again & wanted to go to the Nurse so she took him & acted like it wasn't good which it wasn't. It's like training a puppy. They shouldn't do whatever they want because it isn't good for them. So if she was very mushy & acted like he was a poor kid then he'd learn to act like that to go home when he shouldn't. They are training him. It's a good thing. I am sure they are compassionate & feel bad for him but they can't always show it or else he'll spend his entire year in the Nurses Office.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 6:17 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • The thing of it is- I'm sure she hears "can I go to the nurse" 20 times a day...
    kids tend to ...over-use the whole I'm sick thing.
    sounds pretty normal for a reaction to him (from her)
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 6:18 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • Well, I agree with you. The teacher could have said more comforting words. It doesn't take more effort to be kind. But not all teachers are sympathetic. Can you put a little picture of yourself in his school bag...or some other sort of item? Tell him you are thinking of him all the time. And can you email the teacher or, as someone said, do a volunteer time?
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:02 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • Sound like your son got that way from you. Does he have issues normaly?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:47 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • Social issues I mean?

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:49 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • @louise2- I do have anxiety but very confident and outgoing and extremely positive with him all the time! But he is exactly like I was as a kid.. But I am dealing with his issues I was more questioning the teachers reaction..
    mlmsm928

    Comment by mlmsm928 (original poster) at 6:05 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • @rosehawk-I do completely agree with you! But I wasn't thinkin that should stop the class and console him for ten mins. I was more thinking a simple statement like " it's okay mason, you'll b seeing your mom very soon" and when he said he wasn't feeling well , instead of saying "you're not going home" I was thinking like " are ou still feeling homesick?
    mlmsm928

    Comment by mlmsm928 (original poster) at 6:10 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • Louise2 - rereading your question I realize I misunderstood.... He does have issues socially yes
    mlmsm928

    Comment by mlmsm928 (original poster) at 6:13 PM on Sep. 11, 2013