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Why? Why? I don't understand

if debt collectors can track down people and harass them to no end.

Why can;t the government find my ex husband and make him pay child support?

His kids have no seen him or received support sense 2009.
I understand it's his choice not to see his children but he's just out living his life free as a bird.

Because I'm not on welfare or food stamp, my government does not care about me. That is what I'm told. They are only worried about getting their money back from the ones on welfare.

I did look into one of those companies that say they can help. All they do is look for assets he may have and but a levies on them - get money that way. They do not enforce the child support orders.

Just like, I am, stuck in the middle: not making enough to live comfortable but make too much qualify for any sort of help. I mean not comfortable being that I don't know, what's for dinner tonight. there will be no meat - just pasta.

I'm in pain almost constantly, I pay for health insurance but cannot afford to see a doctor.
I just keep pushing myself until I fall over someday. - - - This is a completely different rant: about how the lady down the street has no job, no insurance and lives off the government AND goes to doctor all the time!

I'm just fed up - sorry this turned into more of a rant then a question.

But any suggestions would be appreciated.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Sep. 11, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Can't you find him? Intellius (sp?) has a finder for a very low fee, if you have is SS#, and you should on your old tax forms, his DOB, and any other information, you can find him.
    I don't want you to think I don't empathize with your situation, but if you can present to the court, here is where he works, here is his address, it will solve alot of problems.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:45 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • How much do you know about him?

    If you have full name, nicknames, SS#, birthdate, last known address, last known employer, what type of work is he known to do, contact with family members or any of his friends, he can be found.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:00 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • The problem is, even if he can be found, and even if you get him into court, there's no promise he'll pay. I just had my....hell, I don't even know what # this contempt hearing was, probably at least 7 or 8. My ex doesn't even bother to show anymore. He gets held in contempt, they issue a warrant, he goes to jail, maybe he pays to get out or maybe he just sits there until his time is up. Regardless, it makes no difference. He still doesn't pay.

    I wish I could tell you some way to get him to pay - that would mean I found a way to make my ex pay. It sucks. You're stuck in a really bad place, and he is living his life like nothing's wrong. The only consolation I can give you is that someday he'll regret this, and it'll be too late. Your kids won't want anything to do with him. Then he'll have to live with his regret. It's not much, but it's the best I can give you.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:26 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • :( Quit your job and get on welfare?

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:35 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • Gov't has no motivation to find him. Skip tracers find people because they get paid to find people. If you really want to find him, hire someone. If the money isn't there, try to work out a trade-office work or cleaning in exchange... and keep in mind it's a specialized skill, if it's too cheap, you'll get what you pay for, old addresses and disconnected numbers

    Answer by NotPanicking at 6:45 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • Is there a standing order with the probate court in case he inherits anything? What about his tax returns? Do you have any banking information on him? Yes, it does suck when some men feel like they can do this & get away with it. It's a debt that will never go away tho. I know that doesn't help you now, but he can't hide forever. And as far as his relationship with his children, he's losing out on that too. Like wendy said, he'll regret it someday. But since he is a bum, you need to do what you can to take care of yourself & your health. You can't just "fall over someday". Your kids need you! You can make payments to your Dr. if he has to run tests or something. Just get yourself there. Since you are playing the role of both parents, you need to be 100%. GL

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:53 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • yes, there is a court order with out divorce - And I no income tax returns, he doesn't own anything, in his name - he's too smart for that.
    It just upset me that I'll have to pay to find him - so I can get my kids the money they deserve. I pay taxes just like everyone else but the people who only take - still get more services from the government. .

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:54 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

  • We do not know how everyone's situation is. If he has chosen not to see his children and has done everything he can to keep himself hidden, than maybe you just have to accept that you will have to do this alone. It's a struggle but worth it. Your children will thank you everyday for everything you do for them.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:36 PM on Sep. 11, 2013

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