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2 Bumps

I have GOT to learn to say no....help?

So my friends have nearly Irish Twins. One will be 3 next month and the other will be 2 a few days later. They aren't potty trained, barely verbal, super destructive, and spoiled brats. a little bit ago I busted the 2 (almost) year old coloring in one of my son's reading books. As soon as I said her name she started screaming bloody murder like I was beating her to death. Just now she threw a toy across the room, and started screaming again when I told her to pick it up.

20 minutes after they were dropped off the 3 (almost) year old peed his pants and pooped in his underwear. There is 1 diaper in the diaper bag.

Their parents have NO schedule, NO routine, NOTHING. They are crappy parents and their kids are spoiled brats. They've recently decided that they don't like the suggestions my husband and I have suggested and demonstrated for effective discipline. They have made it clear to me that I am to no longer do/say anything to their kids when the kids are misbehaving.

I HATE this. I almost hate the kids, but it's NOT their fault they have no consistent boundaries. If I wasn't such good friends with the parents, I'd be all over calling CPS for neglect and/or the cops for an unannounced welfare check. Last week the mom "finally" fell asleep at 4am, knowing she had to get up at 7:00 to get the oldest to school. Some time between asleep and awake the two little ones got into the butter, cream cheese and coconut flakes and plastered the floor and walls with the concoction. 3 days later it was still all over the place.

Yes, I've vented about this family before. They aren't bad PEOPLE, they're just bad PARENTS. Parenting styles are vastly different, to say the least.

What are ways I can say no, I don't want to babysit your kids in your filthy house, and I don't want them destroying mine?

Answer Question
 
Rosehawk

Asked by Rosehawk at 4:59 PM on Sep. 13, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 40 (116,044 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • DON'T BABYSIT THEM.

    Pretty simple, I would not babysit a child that I was not allow to discipline at all.


    Just say no
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 5:07 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

  • Just say no....
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:09 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

  • I'd be calling the parents RIGHT NOW and tell they to come get them. I would NOT babysit kids I can't correct when their behavior is out of line in MY house. If they can't behave, and you can't correct they they can't come over... period! Good luck hun!!!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 5:20 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

  • Yeah, I would be saying no. If you have no way to discipline them when they misbehave then that is just a disaster!
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 5:21 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

  • I would stop babysitting them. Tell your friend that while you respect that they have the right to decide how their kids will be disciplined, that their method does not work in your home and you feel that not disciplining them is doing them a disservice and that they need to find another child care provider. Period. If they try to plead their case, just repeat "that doesn't work for me".
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 5:26 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

  • Why are you watching these kids?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 5:27 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

  • They have made it clear to me that I am to no longer do/say anything to their kids when the kids are misbehaving.

    Yeah, as soon as someone told me that, they would have to find different arrangements for their children. Quinnmae worded pretty well IMO.
    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 5:49 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

  • Friends or not I would just be way to busy to sit for them.
    I would call right now and tell them to come and pick them up as you a getting very sick.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:53 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

  • Get them a copy of BOUNDARIES FOR CHILDREN, and tell them when they've read it and implemented the suggestions found therein, you will again consider watching their children. I don't think you would be out of line to threaten them with reporting them. The children are the ones who are being hurt the most by the parents' lack of discipline.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:14 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

  • Tell them you are busy. You always have something else going on. That you can not baby sit.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:23 PM on Sep. 13, 2013

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