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how do i get my hasband to help me more with our new baby

ok we have a new baby and i am the one that does every thing for it i change it i bath it i feed it and me and my little girl play with it and some times my son but my hasband doesnt have any thing to do with it he is sared of what people mit say and that she is a girl but he was like that with our son too i just want to know how to get him to help more please help

 
browneyes84

Asked by browneyes84 at 5:41 AM on Feb. 19, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (21 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • okay i truly feel sorry for you... because i know what ur going through.....i have two kids, boy and a girl as well, and my DH never wanted to do anything for them..... no changing diapers, bathing, etc..... but what worked for me was exactly the advice the other girls gave you,....( leaving him with the baby alone for a little while)... for example i would tell him i was gonna get something from the car, and i would leave for the supermarket......leaving him with the baby.... he had no choice but to take care of baby...i guess the more time he spent alone with baby, he got more confidence to do things by himself.... he once told me that he was afraid of taking care of her, with me watching over, thought that i would judge himi if he did something wrong...... im not gonna say its easy or that now everything is perfect that he does everything for me, but it made a big difference..... good luck!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I hope this is a joke.....Who actually refers to a baby as "it"....Please be a joke.
    kynziesmom

    Answer by kynziesmom at 5:43 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Hand IT Over, an say I'm busy right Now an Incuruage your son to accompany him in Playing with It, Oh IT? YOUR NEW BUNDEL OF JOY"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • If he was like that with your son, you expect any different for "it"?

    You can try just handing "it" off..but more than likely since he was like this before, he'll be like that again.

    He's actually scared of what people will say because he helps with his own baby? Sorry, but I don't understand.

    You're not really helping the situation much with calling your baby "it" to be honest.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 8:00 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Those crazy guys. They think that with something that small that they're going to break it somehow. Guys also are afraid of not being able to handle the situation. Whatever it is that comes up. Sounds like Mom should put him in charge with the baby while she, and the girls go out for short lengths of time. He can build up his confidence. Some guys don't think they could even get a diaper on straight believe it, or not. Guys in their own mind don't want to fail at anything. Small babies are somewhat foreign to them. Once they build up some "successes" with the little ones they'll get more comfortable with their own confidence about them.

    Hope that helps.
    BetsyAD

    Answer by BetsyAD at 8:27 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Ok, first all of all - totally on the "it" being creepy wagon.

    Put the BABY, your CHILD, your DD in his arms, give them both a kiss, and go out for a hour - just drive around the block if you have to.

    Neither of them will be harmed and both will be better for it.

    Don't be a control freak if he puts the onesie on backwards....just smile and let him be a dad.

    (And don't take NO for an answer - stand up for yourself.)
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 8:52 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • i didnt really mean to call my baby a it it was because at the time i wrote this i really want 5 min to my self and a shower and he wouldnt watch the kids so i could
    browneyes84

    Answer by browneyes84 at 9:05 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Baby - no shower?

    He sounds like a jerk.

    I'm sorry but really - you need to take charge here! Stand up for yourself! Tell him "if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".

    You are a GROWN UP ADULT MOTHER WOMAN PERSON worthy of respect. And worthy of a shower - a long one even.

    I am sorry you made babies with a jerk but the sooner you get him straight the better.

    Tell him that if he was married to me - he'd be toast. In a fetal position. Sobbing. My DH is my partner, my better half (truly he is so much sweeter) and he is a GROWN UP who appreciates a clean wife.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 9:52 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • oh and dont worry about the "it" thing..... i know how you feel....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • My husband was like that at first when our girls were born, he was afraid he would hurt them. I tossed the baby in his arms and walked out the door, after that everything was fine.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 10:27 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

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