You closed your question too soon. I mean who posts something like that and doesn't even wait to hear from the expert!?!?
There's 4 minutes of typing ill never get back. Sheesh.
The clitoris is your organ for sexual pleasure. Nowhere in the medical definition of "vagina" does it mention pleasure or orgasm. Only fertilization of an egg, birth canal, and menstrual flow. I don't care if you believe in Adam & Eve, evolution or if aliens stuck it there, it's there for a reason, so use it and enjoy it!
That being said, no, you are not alone. Approximately 85% of women can only reach climax with clitoral stimulation. His "magic wand" is suddenly not so magical, is it? He can have a 20 inch dick and screw me from the opposite side of the bed, but without a little external stimulation, it 's not going to happen.
The nicest way to orgasm during intercourse would be to find a position in which the clitoris is being stimulated by either his penis or pubic bone. (There's a theory out there that states if the clitoris is more than 1.5 cm away from the vaginal opening, there's is much less chance of the penis stroking it while thrusting.) So you may have to experiment with many different positions until your sweet spot gets some attention. I don't mean the whole Kama Sutra or hanging from your garage door opener, I'm talking angles. For each inch your legs and/or hips are spread, raised, or lowered, there is a different angle and depth of penetration. So the key for you might not be as simple as top or bottom, but, on top, leaning forward, with one knee up, and one knee down.
The other key to remember here is that IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU. Don't worry about all that bouncing up and down crap you see in porn or you never saw it like this on the internet. Do what you can to get yourself off. If that takes a slow steady grind for 20 minutes, that's ok. Will he get bored? NO. Watching you get off with just HIM will be the hottest thing he's ever seen, and watching, hearing and feeling YOU cum will make him cum. (Of course when you're done, you can say "oh baby, you were so good, so big, blah blah blah", but you'll secretly be patting yourself on the back for figuring it out!)
Now, if HE doesn't mind that you add manual stimulation, keep on keepin' on. If it ain't broke don't fix it. If it's working for the two of you, great, but since you posted I'm guessing not that simple. You can try letting him flick the bean- put his hands on you, and you move them in the exact same way you move your own. Guide him, teach him.
The other option is that he simply provides you with an orgasm or two BEFORE he begins penetration. Foreplay, oral, fingering, toys... whatever you like. None of this "Oh, sorry honey, I'm done... I'll owe you one.... SNORE." If YOU don't get off, ain't NOBODY getting off! SHE COMES FIRST! (That's coincidentally the name of a book on female pleasure- I forget the author but you can look it up,)
Resources for you to look at: (these are all medically accredited sites, yes there are pictures of actual women, but all educational!)
www.3dvulva.com <---- this one I find fascinating. Look for the clit pic! The clitoris internally is almost as big as his unit. No shit. Girl Power!
Books: She Comes First (mentioned above)
Tickle Her Fancy- Sadie Allison <--- Very tongue in cheek, funny, but educational!
ToyGasms- Sadie Allison<---- Even if you're not into toys, you won't ever even think of using a vibrator, this is still an excellent resource because it details they types of female orgasm and the angles and dangles required to reach them, and shows ways in which toys can help accommodate that.
Everything I've talked about here is dealing purely with the physical/biological, and there's a lot more that can be said (are you relaxed, is there foreplay, are you lubricated??? and so on), BUT there could be a huge mental component here, too, which I won't get into, 'cause I've already written 4000 characters, and you're either having sex or sleeping by now.
If you want more info, please message me privately. Nothing that anyone says to me privately regarding their intimate lives is ever repeated, judged or made fun of. A few of the ladies here will vouch for that (anonymously!). Yeah, I know I'm the shits and giggles girl here in Answers, but when it comes to sexuality, I actually know what I'm talking about.
Posted in hobbies & crafts, cause it's my favorite hobby and I'm pretty crafty about it....
Who else likes their clit? YAY!
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