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Would you name your baby Fly-Fornication? Helpless? Jolly? Thanks? Kill-Sin Pimple?

If you've been around the US for a while, or you can trace back to the Puritians who never left England, your ancestors did.  Puritians had a whole warehouse full of crazy in their naming choices, and someone compiled a lot of the worst (he does clarify that the really out there ones, like If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned went by the name Nicolas day to day, but his given, legal name, was that big long hyphenated mess.

Full article with links to some of the places they found the names: 

A Boy Named Humiliation: Some Wacky, Cruel, and Bizarre Puritan Names

20 Puritan Names That Are Utterly Strange

  1. Dancell-Dallphebo-Mark-Anthony-Gallery-Cesar. Son of Dancell-Dallphebo-Mark-Anthony-Gallery-Cesar, born 1676.
  2. Praise-God. Full name, Praise-God Barebone. The Barebones were a rich source of crazy names. This one was a leather-worker, member of a particularly odd Puritan group and an MP. He gave his name to the Barebones Parliament, which ruled Britain in 1653.
  3. If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned. Praise-God's son, he made a name for himself as an economist. But, for some inexplicable reason, he decided to go by the name Nicolas Barbon.
  4. Fear-God. Also a Barebone.
  5. Job-raked-out-of-the-ashes
  6. Has-descendents
  7. Wrestling
  8. Fight-the-good-fight-of-faith
  9. Fly-fornication
  10. Jesus-Christ-came-into-the-world- to-save. Brother of "Damned Barebone". I can only imagine this name shortened to "Save."
  11. Thanks
  12. What-God-will
  13. Joy-in-sorrow. A name attached to many stories of difficult births.
  14. Remember
  15. Fear-not. His/her surname was "Helly", born 1589.
  16. Experience
  17. Anger
  18. Abuse-not
  19. Die-Well. A brother of Farewell Sykes, who died in 1865. We can assume they had rather pessimistic parents.
  20. Continent. Continent Walker was born in 1594 in Sussex.

12 of the Cruelest Puritan Names (meant to remind children of the pain of the world)

  1. Humiliation. Humiliation Hynde had two sons in the 1620s; he called them both Humiliation Hynde.
  2. Fly-debate
  3. No-merit. NoMerit Vynall was born in Warbleton in Sussex, a fount of beautiful names.
  4. Helpless
  5. Reformation
  6. Abstinence
  7. More-triale
  8. Handmaid
  9. Obedience
  10. Forsaken
  11. Sorry-for-sin. Sorry-for-sin Coupard was another resident of Warbleton.
  12. Lament

12 Strangely Pleasant Puritan Names

  1. Silence
  2. Creedence
  3. Dust
  4. Diffidence
  5. Desire. In the UK, seven babies were named this in 2012.
  6. Make-peace. This name was in use at least until 1863; see William Makepeace Thackeray, the novelist.
  7. Ashes
  8. Tace. It's another word for silence, and is of course a female name.
  9. Placidia
  10. Kill-sin. Kill-sin Pimple did Jury service in the 1650s.
  11. Freegift
  12. Vanity

10 of the Sweetest Puritan Names

  1. Jolly
  2. Liberty. 129 were born in the UK in 2012.
  3. Tenacious
  4. Happy
  5. Felicity. 302 babies got this name in 2012.
  6. Hope. 416 babies took this name in 2012.
  7. Prudence. 13 babies got this name in 2012.
  8. Amity. 5 babies got this name in 2012.
  9. Verity. 131 babies were born with this name in 2012.
  10. Trinity. 69 Trinities were born in 2012. 


So which is worse - these or todays kreative names?


Answer Question

Asked by NotPanicking at 9:46 AM on Sep. 14, 2013 in Just for Fun

Level 51 (421,174 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • a friend of mine made their kid's middle name McFly. sigh... but some of those listed are worse than some of the names i see nowadays. abstinence, really!? lol

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:50 AM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • I think these listed are worse than today's names by a long shot!

    Answer by older at 10:25 AM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • I would have to say these are much worst BUT some of the names today could make that list.
    Like- North West for instance.

    Answer by KTElite at 10:44 AM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Ugh... would Fly Fornication be called maggot for short??? That's just wrong on all levels....

    Answer by m-avi at 10:51 AM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Yeah, those are a good bit worse. My great x4 grandfather's name was Pleasant Philemon, but that's not near as bad as Fear-not Helly.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 11:46 AM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • I think those are probably worse. Years ago I had an elderly patient named Non-Earl... her parents wanted a boy.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 1:04 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • There are some doozies on that list! Some of the ones toward the end--Tace, Hope, Trinity--are okay.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:27 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Those are awful. Nevaeh is still worse though.

    Answer by anestheticsex at 4:00 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

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