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Let her quit or make her honor her commitment?

My 11 y/o loves softball. So when they said they were going to do a Fall Ball league, she was eager to sign up. She knew her regular coach couldn't do it b/c of the days the games are on. Well, we have practices on Sat. mornings at 10am & games on Sundays at 9am & 11am (double headers) She was so hard to get up this morning & kept saying she wanted to quit. I know it was b/c she was tired. But I told her she needed to follow thru with her commitment, the money has been spent & this is a good learning experience for her. This coach is teaching them skills she didn't get with her regular coach. It's only for 6 wks. & next year we won't sign up for Fall League. If anything, this is a learning experience for her, but she's not seeing it that way.

Would you let your child quit, or make them stick it out?


Asked by mrsmom110 at 12:32 PM on Sep. 14, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 48 (284,647 Credits)
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Answers (17)
  • I think it's crucial for kids to learn that honoring their commitments is important. Too many adults don't know that. I'd insist that your daughter finishes out this season and then let her do something else next year.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:50 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • You see it through and if you don't want to sign up again you don't have too.
    If necessary she needs to go to bed earlier

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:40 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • This is an area that I think it's important to support your child in processing the situation & making decisions. Then it's an actual commitment! When we assume it falls to US to decide & "enforce," I think we miss out on something potentially enriching for our kids.
    Everything mentioned (about the team, about how SHE wanted to sign up, about the expense, about commitment & follow through) is important & valid, but nothing says that a kid can't recognize that & arrive at the same decision for herself, EVEN when feeling tired, disillusioned or psyched out! (For my daughter, it was more the psyched out thing after her first day in a summer music camp when she felt lost & overwhelmed playing in a whole group of string players for the first time, not being able to read the music well enough to keep up, and feeling intimidated overall.)
    Seeing it as a process to facilitate in the child (vs a parent's decision) is the distinction.

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:11 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Make her get up and go.

    Answer by louise2 at 12:47 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • I would get her up and make her go. It's not like the practices are at 6 am!

    Answer by missanc at 12:55 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • I would make her go. My daughter also does fall.ball

    Answer by mompam at 12:55 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Make her go. You don't wimp out of commitments when you're tired.

    Hopefully this teaches her a lesson for next week.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:57 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Tell her at least it's not as bad as swim team. Most meets start at 8 am with warm ups at 7. Sometimes we have to get up at 5 on a Saturday or Sunday in order to drive to the meet.

    She should honor her commitment. The coach and other players are counting on her.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 1:00 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Since there is a team depending on her and you have already spent the money, make her honor her commitment.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:29 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Like Quinn said, she has people depending on her. I have an after school choir. It says right on the sign up sheet, that you are making a commitment, are expected to come to all rehearsals and performances. If you can't make that commitment, don't join. I still end up with kids who quit. I also had a mom who made her son continue, and he was miserable the entire time, so there is always that problem too.


    Answer by musicmaker at 1:49 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

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