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Have to be romantic to be serious?

I am dating this guy who told me that he cant be romantic with someone unless it is a serious relationship. I don't agree because people can still do little romantic things while dating. What do you think?


Asked by Kim370 at 12:58 PM on Sep. 14, 2013 in Relationships

Level 8 (267 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • I think you should find someone else to date.

    Answer by feralxat at 1:02 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • he's telling you you're not in a serious relationship so dont expect anything extra outta him. for men in early relationships, romance is a tool for sex, so if you're already having sex, he doesnt need to be romantic. the kinda romance us women like is tied to emotion which most guys dont feel unless the relationship is serious and long-term.

    this is from my DH.

    Answer by okmanders at 1:15 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Time to find someone else.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:04 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • RUN!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:24 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • RUN. Don't speak to him again. He's dead to you.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:32 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • Well, some people are inclined to do little romantic things, some are not. Read "The Languages of Love" to find out about the different ways people communicate their feelings for each other.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:47 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • husband doesn't ahve a "romantic" bone in his I'm not sure what to tell you- obviously, though he does something right- we've been together 22 yrs!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:40 PM on Sep. 14, 2013

  • he is full of it...

    Answer by smiley745 at 10:59 AM on Sep. 15, 2013

  • I don't get what's wrong with what he said...if you're in love with someone then romantic feelings are inherent and you act on those feelings. He is just telling you how he feels.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Sep. 15, 2013

  • What does he mean by "romantic"? I can understand not wanting to "be" a certain way you don't feel.
    A gesture can be considered romantic, and even carefully planning out an outing or evening together can be "romantic." Those things don't automatically imply a serious commitment. But maybe he means something different by "be romantic." Maybe he is talking about behaving in a particular way that implies certain feelings.
    I wouldn't say it's a bad thing for someone to believe that certain behaviors ("being romantic") should be an outgrowth of actual genuine feelings. I don't think it's a bad thing for someone to hold back from that unless it feels real.
    It really depends on what he means.
    If he's saying he can't be considerate or thoughtful, well....

    Regardless, it sounds like he feels pressured (hence the defensiveness & justification.) He may feel like you want something from him & like you think he "owes" it.

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:11 PM on Sep. 15, 2013

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