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2 Bumps

my seven year old is out of controll

She just turned seven in june eathier my mother or sister watches her five days a week 6am to 5 pm this means they get her dressed for school to catch the school bus and gets picked up from her buss stop each afternoon they feed her clothe her and bathe her the whole non but she is out of controll she never listens to them she kocks screams bites and throws the worst tantrum she is the third child of four the oldest a thirteen year old girl nexxt an 11 year old boy then her and the boy who recently turned one we thought she was jelous of the new baby but its been a year and the only time shes calm is if shes with the tv or her little brother it takes half an hour to get her up for school lets not begin on getting her to bathe and if she doesnt get her way all hell brakes loose the two eldest often spaz they cant get homework done or any peace ithe oldest shares a room with her and cant get any sleep at night HELP!!

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Asked by cassie485 at 1:58 AM on Sep. 15, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • What sort of discipline is used and why are they doing all of this day in and day out and not her own mother?

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:02 AM on Sep. 15, 2013

  • Is this a new routine, or something that has been in place for a while? What do they do to discipline her? Is she having issues at school as well?

    Answer by kmath at 2:04 AM on Sep. 15, 2013

  • PP's have asked good questions. I will wait for answers to those before weighing in.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:30 AM on Sep. 15, 2013

  • How is she on the weekends when the mom is home? Has she been evaluated for any developmental or anxiety problems? How do the adults and the other kids react when she starts to escalate?

    Answer by Ballad at 1:37 PM on Sep. 15, 2013

  • I suggest spending a day with her -just mom and me time I'd rotate weekends with all your kids. Sounds like she feels as if she's getting lost in the shuffle.
    Even when I stayed home with my youngest two - I'd rotate weekend shopping trips with each child. Give them special time & who knows she might open up and talk to you - than you'd know what's going on with her.
    Good luck

    Answer by SassySue123 at 3:13 PM on Sep. 15, 2013

  • Main question is what is the response when "all hell breaks loose"? How do people handle her tantrums, and how do they manage situations that tend to upset her? (Do they do what they can to avoid meltdowns & try to keep her happy? Do they get frustrated or angry, withdraw from her, become punitive, try to bargain with her, or reason with her?)

    Sounds like this child is wound too tight to be very flexible or cooperative, and likely is carrying a lot of emotional fuel (that her caregivers witness on a regular basis.) The thing is, her tantrums don't lead to emotional release (and increased resilience) if the response of the adults leads to her taking on MORE emotional baggage. Which sounds highly likely, as everyone is understandably frustrated & fed up with her.
    This child needs a lot of support, which means your whole family needs support (in order to be able to help her, or to create the environment that will support her.)

    Answer by girlwithC at 5:44 PM on Sep. 15, 2013

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