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How can I get my mother in law to move out?

So my mother in law in came into our home about a year ago, her husband went into a addiction leaving her and 2 kids all on their own so my husband and I took them in just until she can get back on her feet. Thing is she has no initive. She has handed being a mother over to me and I already have 2 little kids. Husband set a rent and grocery list deal which she doesn't not uphold but maybe a few times and that was a struggle. She doesn't care about her job she is in the verge of loosing it. Since she moved in my family has gone in a lot of debt to just to survived. Another peeve is she loves to smoke and fight with her husband out side my boys window at night we have told her over and over to cut it out. She doesnt cook at all or clean she hands off watching her grankids to one of her kids. She doesnt contibute at all. So now we told her she has to move out but the deadline has passed and she keeps coming up with excuses on not moving out. I have search rentals and goverment help but she just turns her nose up at them. My husband is stressed he is in the military and very busy He doesnt know what to say anymore and I amstressed out bad. Don't want ruin whatever relationship we have with her because of the kids but what can I do? Have tried sitting down and talking with but she gets very dramatic and will start to yell, slam doors, and be cruel. 

Answer Question
 
Kwwilson07

Asked by Kwwilson07 at 10:18 AM on Sep. 16, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Sit down and have an adult conversation..,.give her an ultimatum and have hubby back you up....
    older

    Answer by older at 10:27 AM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • We have tried that and after she calm down she told us she will look into moving out but she never go through with it. It is all talk, never action.
    Kwwilson07

    Comment by Kwwilson07 (original poster) at 10:33 AM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Check your state residency laws and then begin the eviction process with you being the land lord and her the tenant.
    Then be prepared for the fall out (possibilities: bad mouthing you two to who ever will listen. severing contact for years)
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:34 AM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Be responsible for what you say & do, so that you don't unnecessarily burn bridges. You can't really control how she responds to your decisions or how she feels/what she thinks, so recognize that that is out of your control. If you take responsibility for your decisions (wanting her to leave, not being willing for her to live with you anymore) you are less likely to make things ugly. So don't fall into justifying things by criticizing & blaming her. YES those are the reasons you don't want her to live with you anymore, but the fact is you are deciding.
    So decide, and stand by it!
    It will likely be very uncomfortable as the whole dynamic sounds dysfunctional. But it's just an adult decision (to have personal boundaries & enforce them) around an adult conflict. All of that is OK--okay to have conflict, to feel unhappy with a situation, to make decisions & take steps in response.
    Acknowledge her feelings & stand by your decision.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:35 AM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Once you set a date for her to move out you must follow through with it and out she goes. No excuses. If she doesn't have a place to stay you drop her at a hotel, which she can pay for, or a homeless shelter. Pack her bag and move her out.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 11:36 AM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • You will probably need to serve a formal eviction notice.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:21 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Start packing up her stuff and the kids stuff. And tell her you have had enough. You are going to put her stuff on the curb 30 days from now so she had better make arrangements because you are not going to continue this way. The next time they are arguing outside your home call the police and let them handle it. Stop cooking for her and doing her childcare.

    Be sure you change the locks.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:27 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Why is it every time I read something like this it's a brand spanking new account? And Monday morning to boot.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 12:29 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Well to answer that I was searching solutions to my predicament and found a few similar cases on this website with some answers. I thought I would give this a shot for some outside perspective and advice. From the responses I have receive I am liking this site a lot. I really appreciate the advice I really do.
    Kwwilson07

    Comment by Kwwilson07 (original poster) at 1:00 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • SHE IS DEPRESSED! She needs to talk to someone.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:57 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

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