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2 Bumps

I am not that old (don't laugh) but my how things have changed!

I was talking to a neighbors Nanny. She is around 30 & so sweet. She brings the kids over to play with mine occasionally. She dumped her boyfriend since he lived with his Mom, she moved in & lived in his room with him & paid his Mom rent! Anyway she found a new Boyfriend & is so excited. She went on a first date & said "HE PAID for dinner for me!" She explained how she was prepared to pay her own way. He even held the door for her & opened the car door for her. I was dumbfounded. I was like "yea, so?? Of course he SHOULD pay & hold the door for you!" I told her NOT to expect anything less from a Man.

When I dated this is how it was. I would accept nothing less! LOL
I've been married almost 21 years & I told my DH the story. He laughed & said "hey did you ever pay for ANYTHING when we dated? I said "Hey, the mere presence of my company was enough!" LOL!

Seriously though, how things have changed. I'm glad I'm not younger & dating now.

How about when you were dating, did you split everything or pay for him on a first date?


Asked by ILovemyPaulie at 1:30 PM on Sep. 16, 2013 in Relationships

Level 42 (144,140 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • My DH paid for everything on our dates. He was highly offended that I would suggest even going dutch.
    He was raised that a man took care of his woman.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:08 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Times haven't changed, women's expectations have.
    If a woman expects a man to pay (because it is an indicator of financial stability, which is an indicator of ability to provide for a family) she will find him.
    When women have the attitude of, "I have my own money, I pay for everything" they get a rude awakening when they marry those types of men, only to discover those men expect the women to pay half of ALL the bills...

    Answer by feralxat at 1:45 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • I've always expected a man to pay for at least the first date. After that, I'm willing to pay now and then, but not every time. And I always expect them to hold doors for me - maybe not the car door, but other doors, absolutely. In fact, that's another part of why I don't date right now - I've had enough dates with men who seemed to think that just being there is enough and that because they showed up, not only should I be grateful, but I should sleep with them. Screw that. I'll stay home and read a book - or write up my own hero who does hold doors. lol

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:40 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Women are SO independent and so out to prove that we can do anything a man can do that women have lost sight of letting a man be a man and do man things....

    If a man is emasculated because I don't want to stand there like a tree stump while he opens a door for me, that is his problem. I can't do everything a man can do and I know that, but guess what, I can open a door. I learned that when I was 18 months (much to my mom's annoyance), so I don't need him to do it for me. Now, if he wants to crawl up on my roof and sweep the pine needles off he is more than welcome to.

    Answer by kmath at 4:52 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • I don't want a man to open doors for me, my arms aren't broken I can do it myself. If I get there first I'll open it. Plus, sitting in the car waiting for a guy to come around and open the door for me is just awkward as all hell. I don't mind paying my half and if I ask him out, then I'll pay the whole thing. I want a guy who can survive on his own, but I won't be dependent on him to take care of me. If he does occasionally then that is a bonus.

    Answer by kmath at 2:36 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • First date, DH paid. Second, I cooked for him. The man always pays sounds more like you're for rent than a date.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:53 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Men need better abs

    Answer by staciandababy at 2:01 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • Women are SO independent and so out to prove that we can do anything a man can do that women have lost sight of letting a man be a man and do man things....

    Like one of the above comments implies.

    I am woman hear me roar! Ugh.

    Sometimes, let the door be opened and let a man pay...


    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 4:42 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • My boyfriend opens my car door for me, but I won't have him pay my way. I guess he did some in the very beginning, but I guess I've got hang-ups about money. I don't want to be dependent on someone else financially. Been there, done that, it didn't work out too well.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:55 PM on Sep. 16, 2013

  • I don't mind paying now and then, but I refuse to pay for the first date. Any man who wants to be in my life has to prove he's good enough for me. My expectations aren't too high, but I do expect a man to at least do that much.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 2:00 PM on Sep. 16, 2013