Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

had a fight with dd age 11. im at a loss.....

ok we had a fight because i was checking her homework and most were wrong. all she had to do was read a couple paragraf and answer a,b, or c. not hard. she is failing not gonna is failing 5th grade cause she dosent pay attention and she rushes in school and out of school. her homework ends up missing or not being compleate even if she does it and we check it she wont hand it in, why?? me and her teacher are talken and trying to work together to help dd but nothing is working. she studies spelling and will still get a low grade.. i have her do her work when she gets home and will say weres this or that. i get we did it in class or its in my desk. i sasked teacher to give me a note cause i dont beleave dd. i just dont know what to do.. what do you moms do whats worked for you? help please im ready to scream. im trying so hard and dd is not working with me.. i swear we have done evrything. reward charts meetings im at a loss..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on Feb. 19, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (14)
  • i had the same problem with my son last year. he had to go through the embarrassment of bringing home a failing report card for the year. i didnt have the money to send him to summer school it was seventyfive dollars for like three weeks. so i had him call his grandma ask if he could borrow the money tell her why and then he had to work it off. he is doing much better this year. i wish i knew what to tell you i know how hard it is good luck

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:36 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Ihad the same issues with my oldest son. Does you school have tutoring available through the NCLB? You should give the district a call and ask. I work for a company thats contracted by the NCLB and I know alot of schools dont tell parents theyll even come to your house free of charge and help with homework etc. Other things that worked for me were having the teacher check their agenda and initial it, then Id initial it after I saw the work was done right. My dd also had one issue in th grade and I had them give her detention until her work was caught up. That worked well too.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:38 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • i know she is in a class to give her help which even the teacher said its not working as well as she hoped. we do the inital thing and there will be math on there and i will be like weres math? we did it at school..ill check her bag and no math and will write teacher a note saying she said..., i will e mail the teacher and she will e mail me.. it seems even the teacher is at a loss. she said there are a couple students struggling but my dd is failing. i told dd she only has so much time to bring grades up and its not long. i told her study work hard pay attention. she knows all this. i even told her her summer would consist of working in school books the whole summer math reading spelling. the have sumer school but its just to help you get ready for next year. dosent help u pass to get to the next grade. its like a recap... get ready. im ready to cry i dont know what to do..

    Answer by tabbys4 at 8:47 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • My son was doing the same thing.. I went to the teacher and talked to her. We live in a small town where I went to school and everyone knows everyone. I threatened my son that I would come to school and sit in class w/ him to make sure that he was doing his work. He didn't believe me. Well, he walked into class and there I sit. He didn't know that I was gonna be there.. Up until then I was just threatening.. I called his bluff. He started bringing home his work, making sure that he had his work done. He didn't want me sitting in class w/ him anymore.. lol

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 9:24 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • hmmmmm wonder if i could do that? i would have to find a sitter for my 3 year old but would do that. maybe i will show up in my pjs and hair all messed up. (:

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:48 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Are you sure she doesn't have any learning disabilities that are keeping her from focusing or being organized? Yes, this age is very scatter brained but this sounds like more than that. I would definitely see about getting her some tutoring. She might just need a different way to learn the material. I feel for you for sure.

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:03 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • This is what I'm doing with our 12 yr old son, he was going thru a similar situation...
    I have him bring his books home everyday, I know what chapters hes on, and go to the end of the chapters and make copies of work for him to do, of course after his main home work is finished.. I made him a daily homework sheet, a new one for each week, taped it to his homework folder, it has to be signed by his teacher and by me, daily, and it has to be filled out by him. I pop in class and sit in to make sure he knows I'm on top of him. He never knows when I'm going to be there. We have a parent portal online and I check it with him. We have made an incentive list, if he does well for 1 week he gets his ipod for the weekend, if it goes on for 2 weeks he gets it back, if his grades go up he gets to ride his dirtbike etc... He's been doing much better... It's a lot of work, I have to be as much if not more involved than his teacher is...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • P anon P here, I also went online printed off application papers for a local military school, wrote his name on them, left them on the dining room table, he saw them and asked me if I would reallyt enroll him and I said "if you can't get it together at school then that's where you will go" He got teary eyed and I know it's working his grades have gone up in just 2 weeks.... YAY

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I had similar issues with my daughter. I created a notebook that she had to take to school with her every day. In it she had room to write down the assignment for the day and a space in which her teacher would sign if her work was turned in and complete. It was a pain in the neck, but it taught her to take the responsibility of staying on top of her work. If she didn't have the signatures or got a note from a teacher saying that something was not done, she lost privileges. No TV, no time with friends, no computer. You get the picture. It didn't take too long before she started getting everything done and on time! : )

    Answer by graciesmom164 at 11:22 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I had this problem with my son some years ago. I got tired and laid down some rules in my house. Once he realized I wasn't play games and every time a bad grade came in my house something was taken. It came to a point where he had nothing but a bed in his room. It worked because today my baby brings home A's and B's. The teachers love him. You know what your child is capable of doing and if you know she is capable of doing the work and just doesn't want to do the work then start setting some boundaries. She will say you are a mean mother but will thank you for it later.

    Answer by mommatime78 at 11:42 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.