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there's no active spouse abuse sights on here,? Are they here?? ACTIVE??

Wouldn't it be great to be really not abused, yelled at, called names (especially in front of the children,) or even hit in broad view of them, or pulled to the floor, right in their plain signt, by the so~called significant other. How can we get help when all the police do is stand by the RENTAL LEASE PAYOR. What if we can't get the sitter to have the job, and S/O isn't FIT to watch the children, but the law will back him up like he is fit, isn't an answer ever on one's mind? What is their to do, sit back and let the children copy the behaviour, or cringe and be stiff~necked in fear, locked in this torment. When will police finally get it, that to take the one that's victim and make them leave isn't the answer. It's time we get our rights to LIVE.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Feb. 19, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (8)
  • I know women police that are involved, well , they have done things for me, but only to drop me off at shelters, and they feel horrible doing it, because it's happened 2 times and she would say how if she could she'd let me even live with her. It's sad because she can only do so much, and, I only know them by the helping out times for that specific time. When will the entire world change. I can't tell you, when will our rights to live happen? I would really hope when all of us can speak out without shame/have dignity keep our minds alive,and not believe we are what they say to us. We know they lie to get the power, only because you can't stop them from speaking,and once they keep it up , they want to see us leave only to have won and get STATUS,and a quick high off of it. Sorry, just keep speaking out. I will too.Good for you for being upfront. Yeah!!! mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • WHY can't you leave? Or, better yet, arrange AHEAD OF TIME to have a locksmith (through your rental management company) CHANGE the locks, next time he goes out?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • If the "Leasee" of the unit is only your SO, and NOT your husband, then it is YOU that needs to leave! Have some dignity and self respect and concern for your children, and leave already! Go to a woman's shelter and start over. THAT would be nice!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • No, you have to stand up for your self, and your kids, if you don't who will. I know it is not easy, but you need a plan, save money, try to do something. People say just leave, if you never been there you don' t know how hard it is. Well, I have and I was treated like, it was my fault, like I was lying, and the kids hurt to. Until you are faced with this battle, you can't get out of it, as easy as 1,2, 3. There are not enough programs to help us woman or men get on our feet, when you have children, and if the man/woman has money, they have attorneys, they can win, it is sad, but keep your head up, plan, save, and leave as soon as you can, before someone gets hurt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Please leave for the kids Please it only gets worse and they will remember they will remember every little detail even if you don't please get those kids out Please!!!!!!!!!!!

    kristie190

    Answer by kristie190 at 11:34 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I know what it feels like to feel trapped... or be trapped. . . but looking back I so wish I had just taken the leap and let the chips fall where they may. Freedom is more important than just about anything, other than ur kids. Even if you have to go on the lam, and runaway to mexico, do it. It's better to a happy pauper than an abused, miserable, lonely, misunderstood person with a decent living.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • My mother was abused by an ex step-father of mine. I hated watching her go through the things she did. I know the economy is tough right now, but try to find a place to stay, whether it's a woman's shelter (which most allow kids to come with the mother, and keeps men out) or if it's a place with family 200 miles away. Call around and find some place to stay. My brother was also exposed to this and he has had issues with abusing my mother as he got older. He has just recently formed a closer relationship with her and he is now almost 17. The sooner your children are no longer exposed to this, the less of a chance they will be in a similar situation when they are older, whether they are the abuser or the abused. Get out, I know it's hard believe me, I know from experience. After we moved I ended up chasing her husband at the time off the property with a bat because he was threatening to kill my mother.
    not-so-des-hw

    Answer by not-so-des-hw at 8:42 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Everyone else has pretty much summed it up!
    You know you are being abused, you know he is hurting your family, and you know something needs to give....
    Shelters are not always a great idea...I grew up in shelters.
    For starters you made the greatest step, realizing that this behavior is not normal...now you need to act.
    Moving in with family does not help...he will find you there and not only will you suffer but so will everyone else...I can not tell you how often my dad showed up at g-ma's or the non-stop phone calls.
    My mom moved 3 states away...it worked!!!! My only regret is that we left on a Thur. night w/out telling Dad goodbye...my last goodbye was at his funeral a year later....
    Do what you have to to keep your children safe...no matter what...your children come FIRST!!!!
    alexandersmom03

    Answer by alexandersmom03 at 5:50 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

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