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HELP PLEASE!! I dont know what to do or think!!! adult content

for some back round info. i have two girls one 5 the other almost 2. they have difrrent bio dads but share the same father. im 22 their dad is 26 now. we havent been together in almost 1 1/2 yrs. he and his cousin were really close bc her mother and step father litterally treat her like a slave and have been abusive towards her. so she ould confide in him. (her step father is an alocholic and bio dad is dead). this cousin of his also trys to act like an adult example she smokes both pot and cigs,been having sex since shes 12 has had many diffrent partners and so on!

ok so heres my problem. last week my ex called me and asked if i knew why two cops ould be at his door. (he was home but didnt answer the door). of course i didnt know why! so he calls the officer (they left a card w/number) and the officer said that he wants to ask him questions about his relationship with his cousin.

yesterday i took him to the police station so he could answer these questions about thier realtionship. well when he comes back to the car he asks if we can go to the park and talk. at this pont i knew something was up but didnt think i was going to hear what he had to say next!!! we get to the park and he looks at me and goes, R (we will say r in refrance to me and B for him) they are going to charge me with sexual misconduct with a minor. WTF!! im asking B why (he told me they had been sending text back and forth and some of them look inapproiate), he said me and my cousin have been sleeping together!!!!! so im asking him all the questions anyone would ask. like why would you sleep with your cousin, when how many times, wtf were you thinking etc.. he tells me its been going on for about a yr (so at 14 shes 15 now). that it was consentual between them and he didnt know why or how it started but it did. he said when him and i started having our problems him and her fell in love with each other! to make it even worse then what it is the time frame he gave me means he cheated on me with her. he told me that he has wanted to break it off for a while but felt trap and didnt know how she would react or what she would do?!???

in my state this charge is a class d felony carries 6yrs max. so he will do maybe 3yrs and probation plus have to register as a sex offender! im in utter shock and disguest! my world is in a tail spin headed stright to hell!! im completly disguested with him i cant even look at him!! he asked me if i would bring my daughter to the jail to see him and if i would ever be with him again after this! omfg no i cannt be with you again. im soo unbelieveable hurt and sad! mainly for my children they just lost the only father they have ever known. What do i do!???? i never would have thought he would or could do this....HELP PLEASE!!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Sep. 17, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (18)
  • He is old enough to know better.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:59 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

  • yes he is old enough to know better.... i dont have any sympthy for him! he did this to worried about my children ..what do i tell them when they ask about him? should i take them to see him in jail?? he is stll under investgation at this point

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:03 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

  • No,do not take those kids to a prison!

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:10 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

  • He should be charged.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:24 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

  • Sex with a minor is bad enough, with his cousin is just GROSS
    Your children don't need to know anything more than he did something that was illegal and has to go to jail.
    They are not old enough to know what he did or understand it. As they get older you can tell a little more until they know what its truly about.

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 8:29 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

  • Your kids are young, so don't give them all the details now.   Tell them their dad did something wrong and will likely be going to jail for sometime. Reassure your kids that you will be there for them, and encourage them to ask you any questions they have.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:29 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

  • If it were me, there would be NO effing way I would take my children to visit him. Unless there was a court order but even then it would be done under protest.

    It might very well have been consensual but at 14 she is not old enough to give consent. What he did was WRONG!!!! And his cousin! GROSS!

    I think you should see a counselor. Not only for you but for your children. They are going to be asking questions and you need to be prepared for that.

    Do you have someone you can trust that you can talk to? I really feel like you need to talk face to face with someone, even if it's just a trusted friend for tonight.

    Or take your kiddos to get some ice cream.


    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 8:33 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

  • I would leave his (obviously) crazy ass.

    Answer by 3libras at 8:39 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

  • Yea it's disgusting... I've been talking to my mom but she can only do so much and i am devastated!! So far all I've said is that B is going on a vacation for awhile!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:41 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

  • Do not take your child to see him and don't have anything to do with him at all except for what is or will be court ordered. Do not support him emotionally. What he did is wrong on several levels.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:51 PM on Sep. 17, 2013

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