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Accidents after visits with dad...

My son is 3 and been potty trained for almost a year. It was hard at first with his dad around, well his dad broke up with me and moved out and my son was potty trained almost immediately. Well now each time after seeing his dad he has an accident. I tried to ask my son why he does it and he says something along the lines of "daddy isn't here"

Anyone deal with this before?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:19 AM on Sep. 18, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • Maybe daddy lets him have accidents.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:20 AM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • Hmm.. maybe your ex is putting him back in diapers while with him?

    Answer by anestheticsex at 12:24 AM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • It could just be emotional, if its only happening right after then goes back to normal it could def just be the change each time.

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 12:28 AM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • Big changes are hard on little ones. He is confused and uncertain about what is really going on. Give him some time to get adjusted to the new schedule.

    Answer by kmath at 12:31 AM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • It sounds like regression, which is normal (in the sense that it "expresses" or "acts out" the emotional stress the person is experiencing.)
    Going back and forth for visits is, itself, a stress. Not necessarily "negative," as in unpleasant or unwanted, but a challenge to a person's coping & resilience just BECAUSE of the changes involved, and the emotions related to the situation. The fact that we are social beings & the emotions of OTHER people factor in makes it more stressful, because he's part of an environment (like an emotional soup) that includes your feelings about visits, his dad's feelings about the whole thing, his OWN feelings/confusion about the breakup and his feelings about separation (from each of you) and his feelings about your reactions (to his accidents.)
    Keep in mind that asking a young child "Why" they did something is a stressor as well!
    It's a good idea to deal with it by cleaning him up & moving on.

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:32 AM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • Talk to his dad

    Answer by escuchar at 6:49 PM on Mar. 25, 2014

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