Funny stories from the mom of a toddler.
DD: "Mommy I have to pee."
ME: "OK honey, you can pee by yourself, you know that."
Way too much time with silence passes...Open the bathroom door...DD's legs covered in white, it's on her shirt, hands, and in her hair.
DD: "Look, I puts on the lotion."
Me: "OMG! That's benadrly cream." DD gets to take a shower.
Watching Harry Potter...
DD: "Mom, what's that?"
Me: "It's a dementor."
DD: "Oh, dementor."
About ten minutes later, she looks out at the gray, windy, rainy sky (during a typhoon).
DD: "Oh my gosh momma, there's a dementor out there!!!!!"
Watching Little Mermaid
DD: Oh my gosh, Flouner got stuck.....OH Ariel helpeded Flouner. Flouner's swimmin mom. OH, oh my gosh. A shark!!! OH, the sharks biting Flouner!!! Sharks gonna eat him!!!! (Screams) OH, it's ok now, Flouner got away.
Getting Ready in the Morning.
DD: (as she holds my shoe) Here mom, let me help you. Put you foot in. Yes, like that. Good job!!! Good job mom, you put you shoe on. Ok? You get a sticker?
"It's in your head, in the head. Zombie, zombie, zombie-e-e-e. mumble mumble mumble YOU ARE CRYING, IN YOU HEAD IN YOU HEAD"
"You gonna miss me when I is gone. When I gone, When I gone. You miss me when I gone"
"DANCING QUEEN....mumble mumble mubmle....ony 17."
Me: Are you a boy or a girl?
DD: Bret's a boy.
ME: OK, well what is Sophie?
DD: A girl, and Lukey is a boy, an Adam is a boy.
Me: How old are you?
Me: You're 3 years old.
DD: I'm 3 years old.
Me: So how old are you?
Me: No, 3.
Me: How old are you?
Me: I give up.
In the grocery store.
Walking through produce.
DD: Eww mom, that's bloccoli. I don't want bloccoli.
Me: I'm not getting broccoli honey, I am getting lettuce for mommy's salad.
DD: DON'T GET THE BLOCCOLI.
Me: I won't ok?
DD: ok. What's that?
Me: A potato
DD: (touches it) EWW, IT DIRTY! I ALL DIRTY NOW. CLEAN MY HAND MOM, POTATO GOT ME DIRTY!
They sure are funny, aren't they?
Answer by tntmom1027 at 9:51 PM on Sep. 18, 2013
Answer by Ginger0104 at 9:39 PM on Sep. 18, 2013
Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 9:44 PM on Sep. 18, 2013
Answer by m-avi at 10:16 PM on Sep. 18, 2013
Answer by kmath at 11:43 PM on Sep. 18, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 9:41 PM on Sep. 18, 2013
Answer by DJDNY at 10:02 PM on Sep. 18, 2013
Answer by Dardenella at 11:37 PM on Sep. 18, 2013
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