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The life of a parent...

Funny stories from the mom of a toddler.

DD: "Mommy I have to pee."
ME: "OK honey, you can pee by yourself, you know that."
Way too much time with silence passes...Open the bathroom door...DD's legs covered in white, it's on her shirt, hands, and in her hair.
DD: "Look, I puts on the lotion."
Me: "OMG! That's benadrly cream." DD gets to take a shower.

Watching Harry Potter...
DD: "Mom, what's that?"
Me: "It's a dementor."
DD: "Oh, dementor."
About ten minutes later, she looks out at the gray, windy, rainy sky (during a typhoon).
DD: "Oh my gosh momma, there's a dementor out there!!!!!"

Watching Little Mermaid
DD: Oh my gosh, Flouner got stuck.....OH Ariel helpeded Flouner. Flouner's swimmin mom. OH, oh my gosh. A shark!!! OH, the sharks biting Flouner!!! Sharks gonna eat him!!!! (Screams) OH, it's ok now, Flouner got away.

Getting Ready in the Morning.
DD: (as she holds my shoe) Here mom, let me help you. Put you foot in. Yes, like that. Good job!!! Good job mom, you put you shoe on. Ok? You get a sticker?

"It's in your head, in the head. Zombie, zombie, zombie-e-e-e. mumble mumble mumble YOU ARE CRYING, IN YOU HEAD IN YOU HEAD"
"You gonna miss me when I is gone. When I gone, When I gone. You miss me when I gone"
"DANCING QUEEN....mumble mumble mubmle....ony 17."

Me: Are you a boy or a girl?
DD: Bret's a boy.
ME: OK, well what is Sophie?
DD: A girl, and Lukey is a boy, an Adam is a boy.
Me: How old are you?
DD: um....Aryah
Me: You're 3 years old.
DD: I'm 3 years old.
Me: So how old are you?
DD: Bret.
Me: No, 3.
DD: 3
Me: How old are you?
DD: Adam.
Me: I give up.

In the grocery store.
Walking through produce.
DD: Eww mom, that's bloccoli. I don't want bloccoli.
Me: I'm not getting broccoli honey, I am getting lettuce for mommy's salad.
Me: I won't ok?
DD: ok. What's that?
Me: A potato

They sure are funny, aren't they?


Asked by AF4life at 9:37 PM on Sep. 18, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 44 (185,714 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I picked me son up from school today and was chatting with his teacher...he is in kinder...nearly 6.

    T(son): This school is not normal
    Teacher: Why is that?
    T: Because it isn't normal, my house isn't normal either?(me: *thinking*oh dear lord lol)
    Teacher: Why do you think that?
    T: Because they have stairs.
    Me: We've never lived in an apartment or house that has indoor stairs only one level. LOL

    I think he scared his teacher a bit there lol I was afraid he was going to say something embarrassing...instead he was just being him.

    He also asked last spring if he could "get some toys with the tax money"...since "it is because of me that you got so much money" Lol he overheard my husband talking with family. He has also told me that I could just use my cards to get toys/candy when I told him I didn't have any money..."That's ok mommy you can just use your cards!"

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 9:51 PM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • LOL that's adorable :)

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 9:39 PM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • Love it!

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 9:44 PM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • AF enjoy these times!!!

    Answer by m-avi at 10:16 PM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • "That's ok mommy you can just use your cards!"

    HA, I get this one from DS all the time. Too funny!

    She is so dang cute AF! BTW, I have missed ya girl. How is baby boy doing?

    Answer by kmath at 11:43 PM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • Parents have lives? *Smile.*

    My five-year-old is big into asking questions about her body right now. When she poops, she wants to know what food from yesterday has just come out. She got her first school ID yesterday, with her picture on it, and she asked me if she could take it to stores and use it to spend money like the grown-ups. You never know what they'll say next.

    Answer by Ballad at 9:41 PM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • AF she is too cute!

    Answer by DJDNY at 10:02 PM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • Too funny. You have been AWOL, and we have missed you. Well I have.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:37 PM on Sep. 18, 2013

  • I am AWOL because by the time I am off work, you are all sleeping. I am only on now because I had to leave work after only 30 minutes because of a sick little boy.

    Comment by AF4life (original poster) at 12:06 AM on Sep. 19, 2013