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2 Bumps

Cussing at home?

Do you or your kids cuss alot? DH is always searing and he just grounded our 13 year old for dropping the f bomb. He thinks he's allowed because he's the dad. I told him it's a double standard but he says he's an adult.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:18 AM on Sep. 19, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • Though I try to remember not to cuss, it happens and more often with DH. But your husband is right, some privileges belong to adults and are forbidden to children. You are right also, it is better to teach by example.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:38 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • Dh and I both swear on occasion. With our kids, as long as it's not directed at somebody it doesn't bother me. They know there are inside words and outside words and so far their occasional swearing is limited to home.
    GarysWife1991

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 5:40 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • There is no cussing in our house, by our kids or us. My oldest 3's dad cusses (they are there every other weekend), but he doesn't allow them to cuss either. I do think it's a double standard. In most cases you tend to talk like the people you are around, if you are heading cuss words it's likely you will start saying them too.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 5:41 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • Children model what they see. DH is setting a very poor example. There should be no cussing going on.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:55 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • We have allowed our kids to swear, BUT they know that in front of kids, in public, around family it's not okay.

    They got in trouble for saying things that hurt people or are meant in a mean spirited way- swear words or not. Namecalling and thata sort of thing. NOT OK

    I think it's about intent- not so much the actual word- they are just that...words it's how you use them that matters most
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:02 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I asked my husband to not cuss in our house. He was very good about going along with this. I don't cuss.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:10 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • He thinks he's allowed because he's the dad.
    I really hope you worded this part wrong.


    I told him it's a double standard
    No, a double standard would be if DH told YOU not to curse

    he says he's an adult.
    I would certainly hope so. Adults do many things children are not supposed to do...

    You may want to try a different tactic to get husband to stop using swear words if you are uncomfortable.

    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 9:07 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I don't cuss, my husband does on occasion. Although I think it's best to teach by example,, I also believe it's important for kids to understand that there are some rules for kids and some for adults. Kids can't drink, drive a car, enter into contracts. These are not double standards. There are reasons for them.

    A reason for kids not to swear is that they first need to learn to respect the impact of words, and this comes from time and experience. Kids who are allowed to swear often don't learn the importance and impact of their words. They often still don't understand the meaning of the words they are using.

    We didn't allow are boys to swear. I had 'Mom's Dirty Word Rule': If you say something dirty you scrub something dirty. My rule wasn't limited to swear words, "I hate you" was at the top of my list. I wanted them to understand the importance of the words they chose to use, and to have some discretion and manners.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:10 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I try not to and so does dh but it happens and my Los know they are not allowed to say those things.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 9:28 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I try not to, but it does slip out. My 11 y/o is quick to point it out too! lol :p My 2 grown sons do it from time to time, mostly when frustrated with a video game. I was well into adulthood before ever swearing in front of my parents & never the F-bomb. I heard my dad swear too. I feel it's a respect thing & I would not want my child using it in front of me as part of their vocabulary.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:31 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

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