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is it better to make a relationship work for the sake of the child if there's no real dreams present but you're just no longer happy with them

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mommii8113

Asked by mommii8113 at 5:54 AM on Sep. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • It's never better to stay in a relationship that you're unhappy in just for the sake of the child. But that doesn't mean you should just walk away, either. Try to make it work - get counseling, talk things out, find ways to compromise, etc. If you've tried everything else there is to try, and you're still unhappy, then you leave.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:40 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I agree completely with wendythewriter. Try your best to make it work. Then you will know you did everything you could.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:53 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • Get and read The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. What you are experiencing is very common and pretty easily remedied.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:33 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • What do you mean by real dreams? I think you should get some counseling before you decide to do anything, marriage isnt a fairy tale, it takes work on both sides.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 9:07 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I think you should Never stay with someone just for the sake of children, from experience. My parents Hated each other, it was screaming matches weekly, they never said a kind word to each other. They said they were staying together for us kids but we were all miserable all the time. They finally split up a year after I graduated thankfully, even though my two brothers were still little. It was much better after that.
    That being said, I do not think you are at this same point like my parents were, just from the little info you gave us. What do you mean when you say there are no real dreams?
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 9:27 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I agree. I know at least a couple of the people answering have had long term marriages. I've been married 25 yrs. Marriage isn'tt always exciting. Sometimes it feels like the only thing we do is take care of our kids & husbands. But isn't that 1 of our dreams when we get married? There are periods when other dreams may have to sit on a shelf, or we have to find creative ways to keep them going. But that would be the case married or single, especially once you have kids.

    If it's romance & passion that are missing, marriages have up & downswings. It's important for both of you to keep your marriage a priority. The same thing can happen even if you leave & meet another man. Counseling is a great idea, or making time to work together on your marriage, especially if nothing is reallly wrong. Remember why you fell in love in the 1st place. It's still there.

    And you still always have the option of leaving if you are truly miserable
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:30 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I think a lot of people forget to nurture their relationships like they nurture their children. Marriages take some work. I agree with getting the Five Love Languages. Maybe he is feeling the same way and you just need to figure out how to make each other feel special and important to the other.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:48 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • No
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:43 AM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • Nope. When your kids are old enough they'll tell you they wish you would have split up. They would have rather been in a happy loving home.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:15 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • It's easy to fall into a rut with a marriage when you've got kids and work and whatever else going on. But that can happen no matter who you are with. A relationship is like a fire that needs some tending or it will die out. Do you schedule time alone for you and your husband? Not just for intimacy, but for having fun together, laughing, talking. Even if it's just watching a half-hour TV show cuddled up on the couch after the kids are in bed, or having a cup of coffee together on a Saturday morning, you wouldn't believe how much little things like that can bring back the spark.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:42 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

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