Have a 19 1/2 year old step son at home (married for 8 yrs, together since son was @ 9) who is extremely disrespectful and if asked to do anything, argues and doesn't do it. Is fine as long as everything goes his way. Otherwise, I get yelled at that I'm a loser, only using dad for money, terrible parent, using "step" as an excuse. This kid has almost physically hit me a few times and has physically and verbally fought with my bio kids his whole life. Has been a juvenile diliquent most of teenage years. Father is stuck in middle not wanting to punish. Just yells and threatens. Son has no where to go, no license, no car, etc. So father feels bad. Also father got son a job at his work, so I feel is more worried about his reputation than anything if he does discipline his son. I love my husband and want to learn to work through this. I know it'll be a few years before son moves out so want any advice to learn to live through this.Answer Question
Answer by beckcorc at 9:21 AM on Feb. 19, 2009
I mean what can you do? Not much...Just hope and pray that that time comes sooner for him to move on that is ridiculous living like this. Something has to give. I am a stepmom too and I have teenage stepkids but they live with their mom. But I kind of know what you mean.
It sucks sometimes married to a man that has kids before he met you. It has it's ups and downs. You can only do what you can for you and your kids. If the stepson does not want to help himself he will never get out so start putting positive things in his head with the hope he catches on and leaves...lol GL
Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:24 AM on Feb. 19, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on Feb. 19, 2009
Answer by Wimsey at 9:35 AM on Feb. 19, 2009
I would make life really hard for this Step son. I would first tell him he will from now on be paying rent, for living here. Not a little either, make it higher then he wants to pay. Then I would tell him if he leaves anything laying around the house,,(except in his room) I will throw it away. And I would tell the DH to get a back bone. And do something about his son.
Answer by louise2 at 9:40 AM on Feb. 19, 2009
The father definitely has some kind of guilt problems stemming from raising this young adult. Most fathers would never put up with that. Counseling for the husband is in order to deal with his shortcomings and put that in the past. That way he will be able to help his son get on the right track, regardless of the past.
Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Feb. 19, 2009
Answer by bml at 4:21 PM on Feb. 19, 2009
Answer by feesharose at 8:07 PM on Feb. 19, 2009
VERY well said wimsey, totally agree! His guilt is clouding his better judgement! This is your husband's doings, it'll take your husband to undo. His parenting is a failure and this should have been stopped when you two started!! With that said, tough love, stepping up to the plate and doing the right thing is imperative from Dad! I think that he needs parenting counseling, family counseling!! This behavior is simply unacceptable! I applaud you though that you have let Dad be the disciplinarian, even though he lacked in this area, at least your step sons disrespect towards you is all him. Often times when a step parent administers discipline, the step kids eventually react the way your step is. Your husband should have made sure that in spite of his son's feelings towards you, he should have always been respectful towards you. At this point, go to family counseling, that is your best option.
Answer by blessed5x at 10:11 AM on Feb. 20, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Feb. 24, 2009