Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Was I wrong to tell my mother straight?

I'm having one of those days where almost everything is driving me mad, I'm very short tempered with everyone and everything (hormones I'm guessing).
Anyway I was just shopping with my mother and she mentioned that by now, my 2 and a half year old should be completely potty trained and be dry most days and nights. He's dry most days apart from the odd accident, but I keep a diaper on him in the night because almost every morning he wakes up dirty. She told me I should stop putting him in diapers in the night, so I politely (well as polite as possible) told her that until he starts waking up clean and dry, the diaper will remain.
She then went on to remind me that I'm pregnant, and I 'don't want to be cleaning two bums every day!' Then I snapped and told her that I have 6 months until the bew baby arrives so BACK OFF if you please!
Am I wrong? I know she's trying to help, but my son is doing very well for his age I think, and unless she wants to clean soiled bedding every day for me she should leave me to it!


Asked by kylie_bob at 5:48 PM on Sep. 19, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,066 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • It sounds like you are talking about nighttime. Beyond that, your son is under 3!
    Anyway, it makes sense to keep a nighttime diaper on a child who doesn't regularly wake up clean & dry. Better to "clean two bums every day" than to face the mess and extra laundry from nightly accidents. It's a common goal to get an older child out of diapers before a new baby is born, so as not to have two in diapers at the same time, but you can't really control whether or not your child can stay dry at night!
    Lots of people survive cleaning two bums every day....for starters, parents of twins! lol
    Anyway, it sounds like you were feeling tense about your mom sharing her opinions, which sounded like judgments about how your son is doing (or how you are doing.) It can hurt to feel criticized, particularly when you believe the criticisms are unjustified.
    I try to be as "clean" as possible in expressing myself but we're all doing the best we can.

    Answer by girlwithC at 8:07 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • She does understand one doesn't night time potty train, correct?
    She understands it just sort of happens?

    Answer by feralxat at 5:56 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • You are not wrong. It varies all over the place when a child will be dry at night. And it sounds like your little one is doing just fine as far a being potty trained. Remind her that she does not need to worry about this. Her days of worrying about such issues are over!! Stay calm, be matter of fact, and try to let it go. (I know how hard that is!) Good job momma

    Answer by silverthreads at 6:00 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • You did FINE. She was over stepping her bounds. My son was 3.5 when his sister was born. I had TWO in diapers. My son was so big that the only diapers that would cover his butt were the Pampers size 7, which we could only find in certain stores.

    Whether you get him fully potty trained or not before the next one comes, he will regress once the baby arrives. It's really not that big a deal to have two in diapers at the same time. Not pleasant, but not hellish either.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:07 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I would have told her that she can worry about what he wears to bed when he sleeps at and wakes up at her house. Until then, it's none of her business.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 6:41 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • I wish when my youngest(now 29 yo) DD was under 5 yo. They had diapers big enough for her. She did not stop wetting in the bed tell she was 5,6 yo. Now she did not poop, just peed.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:06 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • No you're fine. Most kids don't toilet train until they are four and accidents can happen up to age twelve. Blame it on the hormones.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 6:19 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • My son wasn't potty trained until he was nearly 4...and then it seemed to only be because HE wanted to.

    Don't stress you are doing fine! and you were right.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 6:50 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • You have forgive us grandmas sometimes. We did things differently back in the old days. And we feel the need to talk freely to our family.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:33 PM on Sep. 19, 2013

  • Nope, those are your decisions to make and I agree with you. They are ready when they are physically ready and not before.

    Answer by Dardenella at 8:53 PM on Sep. 19, 2013