Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I'm the live-in(2+yrs now) GF to a great guy but his 16yr old daughter is disrespectful & cruel. HELP!!

We have her every other week. She has said "You're not my parent, my step-parent, you're nothing F you!" Or "You're a gold digging, temporary, hooker"- that one said to me in group of people & behind my back. Her father says "It's just a phase" & her mom refuses to let her/us do family therapy. She's also been mean to my Sig Others & my kitten, destroyed several of my things, thrown out gifts.... My BP is 150+/100 when she's here. I've been nothing but consistent and kind- up till my grandma died & she said "She was old she deserved to & just needed to"( Gma was like a second mom!)... I love my Sig Other but his daughter( & his seeming lack of care) about this are either going to kill me( my BP) or make me consider leaving. And that's too bad because she USED to like me! And I love him!

 

 

** Update: Significant Other has given me a " Promise Ring"( ok high school I know, but it's a I love & want you but I'm not ready yet to get engaged, but I promise I will) and Daughter has become human again. Well, for most part. And I am VERRRRRY glad about that. As soon as ring was picked up from jeweler she was better.... Go figure! Kitten & her are treading lightly( I'm VERRRY watchful still & will be)

 

 

Answer Question
 
Jellyfishlion

Asked by Jellyfishlion at 12:16 PM on Sep. 22, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • First of all, if he has joint custody, the mother can't stop you from going to family therapy.

    Secondly, unfortunately,you really can't discipline her...consistant or not, because you really don't have any status in her life.

    Third, I don't care if he's right and "it's just a phase" he has to discipline her for that behavior (and that's not a phase, that's just a bad attitude and cruelty). When a 2 year old bites, that may be a phase, but you teach them that they can't bite, and give them consequences so that they don't learn that it's okay to bite. When a 16 year old dyes her hair purple, that's probably a phase, cruelty and disrespect are not a phase, they are a character flaw, and she needs some serious consequences.

    If dad doesn't teach her to respect you, then he doesn't have any respect for you either, and I think I'd leave.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:03 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • How old are you?
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:05 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • did her dad leave her mom for you?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 1:10 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • You can always find someone else to love.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:15 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • It's like everyone thinks CM is a blog. Join, come here and write a vent, never be seen again.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 1:18 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Your boyfriend needs to do something. NOW. If he doesn't, then it is indeed time to walk because this is merely a preview of what the rest of your life will be with this man. Your screen name is jellyfishlion... he has a backbone of jelly. TIme for you to insist he gets tough or you walk.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:22 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • She is 16 and she is telling you how she feels. She is being honest with you, you just do not likeit.
    For the most part, no you should not be involved in family counseling. There may be a session that ou are asked to join but you as a GF do not belong. The fact is that you are not her mother. You are not her step parent.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:43 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Looks like she came back and edited the question title.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:49 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Yep some.
    But doesn't interact. HMMMMM.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:52 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • I wouldn't put up with that crap. If dad can't grow a pair & discipline his unruly brat, then you need to walk before she drives you to a coronary or an early grave.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:53 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN