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2 Bumps

What would you say to your SO if you suspected they were spying on your phone?

I went to the bathroom last night to wash my face. When I left my phone, it was on the homescreen as I always leave it. When I got back it was on FB messenger. There is no way it could accidentally get on there, as the screen locks. I'm wondering why DH was snooping. I have nothing to hide, so I'm not concerned in that aspect. Lately he has been on his phone 24/7 and I get bored so I get on mine. What would you say if you were me?


Asked by MrsDAJ720 at 1:53 PM on Sep. 22, 2013 in Relationships

Level 7 (181 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • If something like that happened with my actual SO, and I noticed it & wondered anything about it, I would ask him about it. I would state exactly what I noticed (when I went into the bathroom it was on X screen, and when I returned from washing my face it was on Y screen) and that I assumed he'd used the phone. Was that the case?

    I think I would state my assumptions (state them as my reason for asking--because I am wondering if he was feeling like he needed to check up on me, or what.) That would likely be WHY it would matter to me--that I'm wondering why he messed with the phone, and specifically wondering IF he felt the need to check up on something (because that's what I assumed would have been his motivation!)

    Yes, if I thought of it as "snooping," then I'd especially be sure to ask! I think I owe it to myself & to him to ask openly if I feel that way, or if his not mentioning it feels significant/noticeable to me.

    Answer by girlwithC at 4:25 PM on Sep. 29, 2013

  • What's he doing on HIS phone 24/7? Could he be cheating? A lot of times they (cheaters) project their irrational fears or suspicions onto their S/O's & start looking for signs of cheating in them. I wouldn't care if my husband looked at my phone, b/c like you said, you have nothing to hide. But I would wonder his motivation for wanting to look.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:57 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • I'd say let him snoop.... there's nothing he shouldn't see. Maybe you need to snoop around on his....

    Answer by Crafty26 at 1:58 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Spending too much time on the phone/internet and not knowing what the other is doing is a problem.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:58 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Um... yeah we have each others phones all the time...Like he gets a text and ask e who it's from and to read it to him if he in another room or He will answer my phone if I am out of the room...Sometimes if mine or his phone is dead and we need to make a call we will use the other persons phone... There is nothing really to 'snoop' for. It's not a huge deal. Nothing to find.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 2:10 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • I would ask him if he was looking for something specific because all he would need to do is ask me where to find whatever he is looking for. I don't have anything to hide from him. I don't tell him everything (pretty much everything he wouldn't likely care about anyway), but I don't intentionally 'hide' things from him either.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 4:08 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • My ex and I used to play a "game". Whenever the one of us would leave the room, the other would change something on the phone (sometimes a ring tone, the way someone's name appears when they are calling, the background picture or simply add a note). The trick was to do it without getting caught.

    I don't have anything to hide either and if I were to notice that my SO had been looking on my phone, I would just jokingly ask if he had found my girlfriend's phone number. Just a funny way of letting him know that I noticed he was snooping and that I knew there was no reason for it.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 3:28 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • If you suspect he's doing it often- I'd plant something for him to "find". Like a picture of his face on george clooney or something.

    Answer by MoonFox4 at 3:07 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • I'd probably tell him to keep his mits off my phone because I had nothing to hide, and if he wanted to know something he should just suck it up and ask me.

    Answer by Ballad at 4:06 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • I wouldn't think any thing about it if he'd told me. I'm just curious what made him look because he never has. He's the one staying on his all the time & I find it rude. I decided to get on mine if he is ignoring me. No he isn't cheating. He has no time for that. He does ask me occasionally who texted me, but I always tell him.

    Comment by MrsDAJ720 (original poster) at 2:47 PM on Sep. 22, 2013