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Father flat out rude or is it me?

My mom passed away a few months ago and about two weeks later my dad asked if he and his gf could take my kids on vacation with him. I didn't want them to go, and they didn't either (mama's boys) but I let them go anyway. I'll admit I was a little depressed when my mom passed, I still am, and my fiance wanted to take me somewhere to help get my mind off my mom. My dad told me they'd return that same day, and they'd be back in the afternoon. My fiance took me to the park for a walk and about an hour into it, our day was interrupted by rude voicemail's left on my phone by my dad. He said he told me when they'd be back and that meant I needed to be there when he pulled up to get my kids. My phone wasn't picking up service so I called him from my fiancé's phone which he didn't answer so I texted him. When we arrived at his house about 45 minutes later, my fiance and I both were cursed out, told we were bad parents etc. I was so embarassed (he was outside yelling) I told him he was rude and that although I was his child, I was still an adult (26). I also reminded him that he asked me to take them, not the other way around. He didn't care his gf said he called her a whore as she left in tears. He then popped up at my house unexpected today. I didn't open the door. Partially because I don't want to argue, because he disrespected my fiance, and because I'm so over the situation. My father has never been a good parent I've dealt with him solely because of my mom, but because of my current emotions I wonder if Im over reacting.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:33 PM on Sep. 22, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss. That will take you some time to process, so no major life decisions right now. And that includes cutting dad out completely. Sounds like you def. need a break from him for a while & it's fine that you didn't answer your door for him. Were the kids giving him a hard time & that's why he got upset? You didn't really say why he was upset to begin with. Sounds like your fiance' is a good guy to have in your corner right now. So lean on him when you need to. You will know when you are ready to deal with your dad again. GL


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:37 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Sounds like you need to tell him to back off the rudeness. That you are still dealing with your moms death. The way he he acting is tottaly wrong.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:38 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Well... looks like that is one person I would cut out of my life. He was a crappy parent to you as a kid and time hasn't made him a better one. Let that shit go.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 5:39 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • He was upset because he wanted me there as soon as he returned for instance he was to return at non he wanted me there at 11:45. These were his words AFTER he blew up at me, his gf did remind him that he didnt say that however he's not one to admit when he's wrong

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:40 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • he said because he had to go to work the next day (9:00 am) and that I was making him late to prepare

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:42 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Your dad was way out of line. I doubt if anyone would dispute that. But both of you are dealing with a lot lately. Give yourself some space, and then decide later what you want to do, but remember he's under stress, too. Even if he already has a girlfriend, it still had to be hard in a way, losing your mom. Oh, and not answering the door is fine, till you're ready. I've had to do that with my dad before, too. Sorry for your loss.

    Answer by Ballad at 6:03 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Who the hell prepares for work at 21 hours in advance?
    I'd tell him to go fuck himself, father or not, and that would be the last time anyone in my family saw him.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:55 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

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