Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I go? Am I obligated? Will I hate myself later if I don't?

My dad just texted me that his mom is likely not going to make it thru this week. She has been very sick for the last few years and it has gotten worse this last few months.

This woman has made it clear over and over thru the yrs that she is not my grandma. She has never bought me a present or sent a birthday card or made any attempt at a relationship. Every attempt from me has been rudely rejected. And it's not just me, my brothers have had the same experience. All except my step-brother who she has accepted as her grandchild.

I offered to go visit my "grandma" just because I felt obligated. Am I a horrible person because I'm glad he turned it down?


Asked by tempsingl3mom at 6:02 PM on Sep. 22, 2013 in Relationships

Level 26 (27,595 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • If you have never had a relationship with her and have been rejected tells me there was never any emotional ties here, but you do have them with your dad, I would go just for him.

    Answer by older at 6:06 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • No. You're not horrible, you're human.

    Answer by Ballad at 6:05 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Save your concern for the funeral. At least in death you won't have to deal with her disdain.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:33 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • You're not obligated to anyone but your dad.

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:09 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • I agree with BB. Go to the funeral, and be there for your dad then. Don't go up before she passes as it is possible that it will just create friction between your dad and his mom at a time when he needs as much peace as possible.

    Answer by kmath at 6:57 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • No, don't go.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:55 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Your dad needs your support. You don't have to see his mom at all. Call him and ask him if he wants you there with him. Definitely go be with him at the funeral.

    Answer by May-20 at 8:42 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • May she leave peacefully.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:51 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Say a prayer for her.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:32 PM on Sep. 22, 2013

  • Thank you all.

    I did offer to go there and he said no. I told him to let me know if he needs anything.
    And I have every intention of being at the funeral FOR HIM. I talked to 1 of my brothers about it today and he is in the same boat as me.

    Comment by tempsingl3mom (original poster) at 8:48 PM on Sep. 22, 2013