my son who is 25 married a 19 year old after she got pregnant...that is a whole other can of disappointment im dealing with...
My pickle is this... they moved in with me shortly after the birth, my son has lived on his own since he graduated high school but couldn't pay for a place and pay for college with a family..... but she left after 2 months because i expected her to pull her own weight. They lived here rent free, did not pay for groceries or misc needed items. My son is finishing college and well now she has dropped out of school to play house wife even though everyone from both sides of the family offered solutions to keep her in school.
Her job? to keep zone 1 clean, that would be my kitchen. I work10 hours a day, my son worked 8 and then 4 at school(he pays for his own college) I cooked, kept the bathrooms clean and my elderly mother did the dusting and vacuuming. my son mowed the 2 acres took out trash and helped me with all horses and barn cleaning.
i realize she is 19 and i keep trying to remind myself of that.. but she moved out and dangled their son to make my son move out because in her words "i don't feel comfortable living here because your mom told me to do the dishes" i grew up old school like a lot of you, so this did not sit well with me but i kept my mouth shut and explained as carefully as i could that in life you must earn your keep, you must contribute to your household, especially when that household is supporting you and your family. So she moved out and is having her mother pay her rent.
I am not allowed to keep the grand baby unsupervised, in fact my son cant bring him over if she isnt going to be here period. when she is here, she follows me around literally from room to room, when i asked my son if she's afraid i'm going to do something to the baby he says no..... the bizarre behavior continues, it literally makes me uncomfortable and my friends are starting to notice this and have commented on it, i find it very creepy and well embarrassing,.
how can i make this situation better? i've asked my therapist friend for advice and she keeps telling me the girl has serious issues and i can not fix this, but i need more than that, i have waited for a grand baby for soo long! i'm missing out on the baby moments.. and it breaks my heart. I don't know what to say to her, i try to just smile and pretend like everything is fine, i consciously try to be careful of what i say, how i say it... but nothing works any advice on how to talk to this girl, something a 19 year old can grasp.
Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 7:07 PM on Sep. 22, 2013
Answer by gdiamante at 7:08 PM on Sep. 22, 2013
Answer by charlotsomtimes at 7:09 PM on Sep. 22, 2013
Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 7:13 PM on Sep. 22, 2013
Well, for one, if she follows you everywhere, go into the kitchen (or the laundry room, etc.. .) and start cleaning, hand her a dish towel, and very sweetly say, "Thank you so much for helping me in the kitchen, I really appreciate it" I bet she stops following you.
Answer by musicmaker at 7:16 PM on Sep. 22, 2013
Answer by musicmaker at 7:19 PM on Sep. 22, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 7:36 PM on Sep. 22, 2013
Answer by louise2 at 7:47 PM on Sep. 22, 2013
Answer by ohwrite at 8:00 PM on Sep. 22, 2013
Answer by missanc at 10:31 PM on Sep. 22, 2013