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Moving with a teen

Is it the wrong decision to relocate out of state for a job if you have an 8th or 9th grader? I have a very shy child with extreme social anxiety and I don't know if we move they will make friends because they are so shy. I know teens, especially girls aren't the friendliest at that age and accepting of new people.

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Asked by jenjen1219 at 4:42 PM on Sep. 23, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • It will be okay. We have moved many times with our kids. I am shy and moved many times as a kid/teen as well.
    we always try to do it over the summer if we can, so that they start school with everyone else

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 4:49 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • you need to look at the moving situation as a whole not just this one little part. Will the family be better off in the long run moving? Is staying even and option? The fact is she will adjust. You have to do what you have to do. There are things you can do to help it be an easier transition though.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:51 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I guess it depends on how much you want the job, or how much better off you'll be in the new place if you take it. There are always trade-offs. Your kid will take her cues from you, whether or not she's happy about your decision. If you are anxious about her making new friends and settling in, she'll be more anxious as well. Treat the whole thing as a positive step for your family and a new start, and the chances are better that she'll se it that way, too.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:08 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • im a shy person, always have been, i understand the crippling effects of social anxiety. but i lived in 22 different homes by the age of 16 (8 schools). there is nothing "wrong" about it & your children will survive. its hard, & she will be sad for the friends she's leaving behind, its natural. the key is to not let it be the end of the world.

    a lot of her feelings depend on you. if you set her up for this to be a hard difficult thing, piss & moan about it a lot, she will pick up on that. if you set her up for this to be a new adventure that is better for the family & you look to the positive, she'll pick up on that.

    is there an activity your DD likes that she can get involved in at school? i always made my small number of friends thru choir & that was always enough to get me thru a new move. encourage her to pick something that she loves & friends will follow, no matter how shy or anxious she is.

    Answer by okmanders at 12:13 AM on Sep. 24, 2013

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