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2 Bumps

my 3 yr old girl has started playschool and isn't listening to teachers and does her own thing sometimes , she is a only farm child, no other kids around ever, teachers are asking me to test her?

the teachers ask if she has disabilities? ahhh no she has been an only child and we have a ranch, i'm older and don't have friends or relatives with children, she plays with chickens and dogs and by herself a lot! I think she will learn with time n being around others since she hasn't had any of that.

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Patricia J.

Asked by Patricia J. at 5:10 PM on Sep. 23, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • This seems a little early to be recommending you have her tested. Preschool is usually where many kids start to get familiar with a classroom schedule and learning how to sit and listen to the teacher and when to work on projects with the rest of the class. Did they tell you specifically why they think she should be tested? Or are they just wanting her to behave like the other kids in the class?
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 5:13 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • She's 3. I'm not sure why, lately, it seems that preschools want kids to know everything prior to starting preschool. Isn't it their job to help the kids learn these skills?
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 5:15 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • thanks ladies, yes they seem to want her to know how to do everything they ask just because certain kids can, back when I was a kid I played by myself but I had cousins n other kids, I live on a ranch and not close to town, we raise animals and my lil girl knows more about ranching and semi's than most adults, I think the teachers should do the extra it takes to teach her.
    Patricia J.

    Comment by Patricia J. (original poster) at 5:31 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I would be happy they are concerned about her social development. Many preschools are not! If my DS preschool had been that on top of things we would have had a much earlier diagnosis! Anyway, I would explain to them exactly what you explained to us. This is her first time in a structured social environment and that you feel it would be ideal to give her time to adjust to the environment, the routine and her peers. Let them know that you are willing to work with them to come up with ideas to help your DD get more in tune with the group and encourage group play. There is not harm in declining intervention in a situation such as yours! Just wait it out. She how much she grows over the next 6 months or so. If there is still a concern then you can always address it then.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:35 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • thanks I think patients in the teachers will help, they have doubled the kids this year and it seems more crazy there. But still they should try. She is an independent lil girl , everything she does she says I wanna do it myself mommy or daddy, when she goes potty she needs no one in the bathroom with her. love that strong headed lil girl
    Patricia J.

    Comment by Patricia J. (original poster) at 5:46 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • There is the key. She doesn't have to sit down and listen and do what she is told at home.
    I would start practicing at home as well. If she is off "doing her own thing" at home, that is what she considers normal and would naturally do it at school. I think this is a problem that you can help her with.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 6:34 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • If the teachers are seeing problems, please have her tested! The teachers are used to seeng what is and is not typical behavior, you are not. If there are no delays then great, you have leave of mind that you did all you could. If there are delays then you can go ahead and start addressing them. How awful would it be if you do nothing and she falls further behind, only to find out in 1-2 years that there are some problems that need therapy? Getting an evaluation certainly isn't going to hurt her and can only help!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 6:40 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I wouldn't completely close my mind to testing in that situation, but I wouldn't do it till the teachers told me exactly what they felt was amiss, and what the tests would look for. You don't want to ignore delays if there are any, but you also don't want to stick your daughter with a label if she doesn't have a disability. I'd see how things go for another month or two, and try doing some more structured activities such as crafts or simple cooking with your daughter at home in the meantime to get her used to staying on task and following instructions.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:45 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • is this testing free? if so what can it hurt? my son is very smart and really doesn't seem to be behind in anything but i sometimes worry about his speech. his teacher has mentioned anything about it and his doctor says he is a tad behind but not by much from what she could tell.. but regardless im having his speech tested. what can it hurt? he possibly does a little speech therapy and gets a a little bit of help. Its easier to do these things now rather then wait til they are older and are set in their ways.. and plus at this young age they aren't embarrassed by any of it. Your probably right and your daughter is probably fine but just in case i wouldn't close my mind to it. i do think thought that too many kids are being diagnosed with adhd and stuff.
    nnh_mama

    Answer by nnh_mama at 9:59 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I'd explore a bit with the teachers to discover what things are like at the school. What are the expectations & how do the teachers respond to children? (For instance, when a child can't do something, doesn't understand, isn't willing to cooperate, etc.) Assuming children don't always comply easily & effortlessly with expectations around transitions or tasks, what do the teachers do? lol
    Also, getting an idea of the atmosphere & structure of the place (broadly speaking, is it play-based or more of an "academic" focus? Do children & their interests direct the overall curriculum's shape, or is it dominated by teacher instruction?) can help you to "frame" the objections or issues being expressed by the teacher.

    Getting a sense of the teacher's expectations & assumptions, and also a sense of what the situation is LIKE for your daughter, can help you understand how to make sense of the feedback & what to offer in return.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 8:13 AM on Sep. 29, 2013

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