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What are your thoughts on this.

I work in a daycare in a 1 and 2 year old room The kids in the room are expected to learn to use a regular cup and feed themselves and be able to pull up their own pants. Obviously we expect to have to teach these skills to the younger set. However it amazes me how many kids start at 18 months or so and can not drink out of a cup, feed themselves or even sit well in a chair (like they fall sideways out of it) I was talking to a friend of mine about it. she said that is not normal for kids that age to be able to do those things. That is what parent are for. I disagreed saying that my kids cold do all of those things and were not in traditional daycare (they were at a friends house while I worked part time) I asked her if it was really helping kids by not encouraging them to do things they are capable of doing. She says that it is better for them to have mom or dad do it for them they will learn naturally when they get older that it is silly for a 18-24 month old to drink forma regular cup or even use a spoon. We did not discuss it much further. Being friends we agreed to disagree.

So where are you on this? Is it silly to work to teach a toddler how to use a spoon appropriately and a regular cup and how to sit in a normal (yet tiny) chair- they will learn it naturally as they get older? Even though they are more than capable of being taught these skills sooner. Or do you feel it is better to teach kids independence and self care as they prove they are capable of learning it.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Sep. 23, 2013 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (13)
  • My daughter did not learn how to walk until 14 months. At that age I would definitely not have expected her to be able to sit in a chair without falling or use a cup without a lid. Those standards are set developmentally too high in my opinion.

    Answer by MoonFox4 at 6:46 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • It is good to teach your kids to learn to do these things...but it is also good to be right there as they learn...and correct and guide. This is all part of nurturing too you know..even if you do not teach this per say they will learn by observation......they are tiny people for such a short period of time and independence will come sooner than you want...why hurry the already speedy process.....

    Answer by older at 6:49 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I said as they are capable of learning it. Clearly your child would not have been ready at 14-15 months-mine either with the sitting (also a late walker) but drinking out of a cup and feeding themselves yes... These kids are more than capable. We do not accept them before they can walk steady.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:50 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • My kids could feed themselves well by 15 months or so but didnt learn to drink out of a regular cup until age 2. I just saw no reason to work on it with them when sippy cups, sports bottles and straws are readily available and much easier.

    Answer by missanc at 6:54 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I'm with you on this one. Kids won't learn until parents teach them. My kids were sitting in a high chair at 4 months old. As soon as we gave them solid food to try, they were all about doing everything themselves, and many things they couldn't. Silverware was a bit of a challenge, but they could get food to their mouths using utensils by around 12-18 months. We didn't do lidless cups until around 2-3 years, but they could manage a few swallows at 18months-2 years.

    I think parents today are just a little too lazy and self-absorbed when it comes to raising their kids.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:57 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I had a sister in law who kids were very independent at a very early age, and mom was praised left and right for it, I for one saw something wrong with the turned out that mom was too drunk or with a hangover to deal with the toddlers everyday and they learn on their own....

    Answer by older at 6:58 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I think these skills should be taught in both places. By 2 years of age a child should be able to do all these thing except possibly pull up their pants.
    I do not think a 2 year old feeds himself well with a fork or spoon and they are prone to spilling their cups. This is all to be expected. A 2 year old should be able to sit in a chair with out "tipping" over but they will fall out of chairs regularly still.

    Answer by Dardenella at 6:59 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I let my daughter take the lead as a toddler, but I didn't push her. She developed some skills more quickly than her peers, some more slowly. I took some guff from people because I wasn't teaching as aggressively as they thought I should have on some things, but I was letting my kid do otherthings that were supposedly too advanced. For example, she was closer to four years old before she completely dressed herself, but she was much younger than that when she had learned how to be careful with fragile items such as glass knickknacks. She's jut now starting to be interested in learning to read, she was two when she got off the bottle and pacifier; both of these are later than most kids, I guess. You know what? She has pretty much evened out by five and a half, and she's on track with her peers. I felt that letting her set the pace empowered her more than pushing, but I also didn't hold her back, if that makes sense.

    Answer by Ballad at 7:11 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • We use small 'bathroom' sized cups and we do see several spills day but they are able to drink from them no problem. Usually the issue is them not setting it down flat every time which is expected. They feed themselves a little messy but with a spoon. WE do not allow finger eating. When kids re new we will hand over hand help them learn the action of self feeding. We only have one child who is not getting it and she is almost two. She is not ready though. She doesn't speak either. I think there are a lot of delays but we are continuing to hold the same exception just with a lot more support.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:13 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • oh wow, I think those thigns are set waay too high actually. my son didn't learn to walk til 13 months. and even my daughter who walked by a yr both couldn't sit in a big chair without the possibility of falling. AND CUPS! ha forget it!! my daughter is two and knows how to use a cup but I STILL get s bunch of spills! lol your nuts for thinking that at 18 months they should have this stuff down hahah kids learn at totally different rates. My son is almost 5 and the kid put his pants on backwards today lol

    Answer by nnh_mama at 9:32 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

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