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My 3yr old doesn't like her Nana and is very rude about it..what do I do?

My child says she doesn't like her paternal grandmother. She openly says it to her and tells her to please not talk to her or to please go away. When I asked her why she says that her nana is mean to her. She's never been without either myself or her father with her when visiting. And this set of grandparents often tries bribing her with candy/sweets and TV time that she turns down. She says she doesn't care about her papa. My inlaws do tend to talk down to her and have been caught telling her what they consider "white lies". Lately its gotten to the point she's almost hostile. I can't get her to understand that just because she says please doesn't make things nice. She's usually very laid back and has never had a problem with getting along with someone


Asked by svande02 at 9:33 PM on Sep. 23, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • There is nothing rude about asking someone to "Please, stop talking to me".
    It's not like the kid is saying, "Go away you poopyhead"!
    or the adult version
    "Fuck off, asshole"!

    They don't respect her or her boundaries.

    If the kid can not trust that the home environment is a place where she will be respected where the hell else is she going to learn that she can set boundaries?

    Answer by feralxat at 9:55 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • uhh i don't think its okay that your daughter be talking back and being rude to adults. HOWEVER i don't think you should try and change her mind on the not liking them lol your daughter has her own feelings, if she doesn't like them she doesn't like them.. whether shes uncomfortable with them or its because they lie. just explain to her that even though sometimes we aren't crazy about someone we still need to show respect. What if someday she dislikes a teacher or as an adult dislikes her boss.. we cant ALWAYS speak our minds and be rude to people lol

    Answer by nnh_mama at 9:43 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • Well, my grandmother was very mean to my younger kids but fawned over my oldest. When she died my younger boy said " am I supposed to care she hated me". As sad as it is your kids are able to tell good people from bad. I would just remind her to be polite. She doesn't have to like everyone, grandparents included.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 9:49 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • So you want your kid to be nicer to liars than politely asking them to not talk to her?

    Answer by feralxat at 9:37 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • Yea, I think you need to teach her some manors. Rudeness is not tolerated . Like others have said. What are you going to do when she does that to you, her Dad, or a teacher?

    Answer by louise2 at 9:50 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • I want her to understand its not okay to say things that could hurt peoples feelings. Especially since their isn't a reason she can pinpoint for not liking them. She comes across sarcastic when she says "please" because she is frustrated. And while I can control this situation to some degree I won't always be able to. Im wanting suggeations on a more positive way for her to deal with people she doent like not only in this situation but in future ones as well.

    Comment by svande02 (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Sep. 23, 2013

  • They don't respect her or her boundaries.

    boundaries..? this is a 3yr old... WHAT boundaries! lol

    Answer by nnh_mama at 10:03 PM on Sep. 23, 2013