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Am i in the wrong for feeling this way?

Ok so I guess my feelings are kinda hurt and I actually think im feeling jealous in a way. So my grandparents (my gma is my Step Gma but has been since before I was born) are in town. they live 3 1/2 hours away they come down a few times a year we try to go see them at least once or twice a year. They have been in town for 3 weeks ( My aunt (gmas daughter) went to Europe so they are watching her kids). Anyways I have only seen them twice for a hour or two. Both times I drove over to my aunts to visit , aunt lives 5 mins away. The last week I haven't had my car ( broke down its in the shop). Ive told them to stop by the house any time since im not working. I know they have had to take and pick my cousins up from school ive had my kids to get too. The reason im upset if because this happens a lot , there are times where they come down for a weekend and don't even bother to call me or come see me and their Great grandbabys. I feel like my grandmother favors her daughter's kids over me and my kids. She calls them all the time I call n txt her hardly get a response. We were close I lived with them and my dad when I was little and then lived with them from the age of 16-18. When we go up there they take us out to eat let us stay in their beautiful home , but when they come down here they see everyone but me and my family, It hurts my feelings :( Do you think im being selfish ??? I understand im not the only person. They don't have forever to enjoy their Great grandkids. Sorry for the long post just wanted to get it out

Answer Question

Asked by Cherriemama831 at 1:17 AM on Sep. 24, 2013 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,601 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't think you are wrong for feeling that way, but I also don't see it changing.

    She may in fact favor her daughter's children more then yours...I know that my grandmother has done that a lot.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:28 AM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • Yea its just that she see them all the time picks them up to go stay with them, goes on vacation ( we've ask them to come with us before and we get oh we don't know). Not that I care about material things but she buys them the most expensive things for every xmas and bdays, She bought my cousin all new bed spread comforters nick knacks and painted her room for her, dang.. couldn't see her doing that for my kids .. I dunno like I said I just wish they'd care enough to spend time with me and my kids ( I was there first grandkid for 10 years) I was spoiled by them as a kid and I love them so much for everything they did and have done for me, My aunt tells me oh yea that's just my mom she never wants to go any where or she always wants to just see her old friends ( this is y she staying at her house so she does get to see her and her kids get to have more quality time with them.

    Comment by Cherriemama831 (original poster) at 2:07 AM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • My parents try but weren't the greatest parents and they rnt the best g parents but my hubby parents are wonderful we see them talk to them every day and my kids are so close to them I love it so they do have them and I am more than grateful for that. But like I said it just gets to me , also my aunt and her kids are brats to my gma they talk to her horribly and they are rude and disrespectful me n my kids never have been rude or mean to her. So I don't understand y I guess its because its her bio daughter. I know she loves us and everything just wish there was some more effort on her side to show us. Sorry im ranting

    Comment by Cherriemama831 (original poster) at 2:11 AM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • She stays there because she can do so for free.

    Your feelings are never right or wrong. They simply ARE. It's what you do about them that matters. In your shoes, I'd throw a family dinner or party. Invite everyone. Yes, it will be sharing with the others. That's OK. Take what you can get. Lemons from lemonade.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:15 AM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • I don't think anyone is ever in the wrong for having feelings, no matter what they are. How you feel is how you feel. You can't control that. You can only control what you decide to think, say, and do in response to your emotions. I know it hurts to have someone else in the family, and that person's kids, favored by grandparents. My mom and dad think my sister's kids are the next best thing to Jesus Christ, and they never show pictures of my daughter or even mention her to their friends in town. Hel, for a few years after my baby came, I regularly ran into people my parents knew who had no idea she'd even been born. But like Tntmom said, the situation isn't likely to change. So your choices are to say something, which will probably only create strife, or go on with your life and shrug the whole thing off, or let it eat you up inside. I recommend shrugging it off; it's their loss. Focus on people who do care.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:16 AM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • Of course you feel hurt. Is there something you can do about this? Have you taken an active role in arranging visits? Tell them your car is in the shop and will they stop by or pick you up for a visit. They may be wiped out by caring for the children and not feel like doing much. See what you can do to arrange visits. Good luck! :)

    Answer by Bmat at 8:48 AM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • Eh, it happens. Your feelings are valid, but things aren't going to change. My MIL does the same thing. She just doesn't want to be involved with us. I've learned to accept it and move on. It's their loss. Just enjoy what time you do get with them. They are old and set in their ways. You aren't going to change that. You've got to just learn to accept it.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 10:13 AM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • I can understand being hurt. I think that would make a lot of people think and feel that way, regardless if its their intent or not. As for you texting them, perhaps they are not great at texting? There for, maybe they have a hard time texting you back? Just saying, because of their age group ( assuming they are alder than 65, being that they are great grandparents) maybe they have trouble figuring out how to text. Or maybe they hate to text. A lot of older people hate sending and receiving text messages.

    Answer by sirinme94 at 10:52 AM on Sep. 24, 2013

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