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I need help. My kids are so bad that sometimes I wish I had not ever had them. I don't like feeling that way but it's true.

My son is 5 and my daughter is 3. She scream and cries all the time if I am not just paying attention to her which makes homework time with my new kindergartner a nightmare because she cries to be held the entire time I try to help him and then I end up yelling at her while my son cries that he can't do his homework because she is crying and I am not sitting with him So I try to put her in her room but she cries so loud and our house is so small that it echoes all over the house through the vents even What should be 10 minutes of homework is 30 or 40 minutes because of the crying from both kids

bed time is a problem also it takes over 2 hours to get them to bed I have start putting them to bed at 7 so they will be asleep by 930 I have a routine and we do everything the same way every night but they get up over and over again and then when I yell at them they stay in bed but laugh and talk through the wall I even tried putting them to be and hour apart but then my daugter was staill staying awake because she was crying that her bother could be up but not her and then my son would cry because she was too loud and he could not hear the story I was trying to read him and get mad becaue I would have to keep stopping the story to go quiet her

I can't take them in public together because they are always picking on each other and ten they both end up crying and when my daughter cries she is way dramatic and she sounds like she is beig beaten so we never go anywhere even a trip to the park end with them screaming adn crying

my 3 year old hit my son all the time and makes him cry I put her in time out and she screams when I get her out of time out first thing she does is go hit him again she pends most of the time they are home together in time out and my son to because he back talks and whines over everything like if I tell him not more juice its time for water he will beg and cry until he ends up in trouble for whing and begging

I try to tell them good job when they get along adn when they do what I ask them to do and I try to get them to play seperate as much as possible but it is still awful to have them together I was so hankful when my son started school but now I can't wait for my daughter to start also because of her crying nad tantrums even when I put her in her room to have them it sounds loud all over our little house

It just makes me wish I never had kids and my husnand is no help becasue he is rarely home when they are awake only 2-3 days a week he sees them because he has a long commute

What can I do make everything better I read 123 magic but is is not helping I have been doing it for about 2 months now they still stay in time out all the time especially when they are home together

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Sep. 24, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • I really think you need to speak to someone, and perhaps enroll in some parenting classes, yelling loses its impact over time, but it sounds like you might not be able to cope very well, no offense, just hard to tell from your post if there might be something wrong with your children or with you.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:51 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • ((hugs)) I am sorry. It is such a rough time for you. :( The ages that you mentioned sound pretty typical for this kind of behavior, but that doesn't make it acceptable even so. What I'd suggest, and I hope you get other suggestions than just mine, is that you change your expectations and become a strict mom. From what you describe, you seem to be doing the right things, but even so. You aren't their friend, you are their mother, and they are expected to do as you say. Let them laugh and talk through the wall, for example, as long as they stay in their rooms after you put them to bed, your task is done. My sons were three years apart, and I told them to settle their own fights, and they did. I told them that I did not want to be involved. It made the problem theirs not mine. Shut the door on their yelling and ignore- they are doing it to get a reaction from you. Refuse to be drawn into their drama. (continued)
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:52 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • Of course acceptable behavior gets your attention and approval. (end)
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:53 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • I don't just yell we do time out also it just doesnt seem to do any good because they get up and then do it over again I have been doing the 123magic with timeouts for 2 months now
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:54 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • Take a deep breath! Ok why don't you watch 911 nanny she has helpful hints for these issues. Also have you tried spanking them?! If you don't want to do that it's your choice. Try positive reinforcement! Ex if dd puts a toy away or plays with dh nicely reward them!
    rachel216

    Answer by rachel216 at 5:55 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • Behavioral therapy for the 3 y/o for sure. A simple No means No for the 5 y/o & additional timeouts for whining or continual asking for the same thing you said No about. We all have stressful days, so hang in there. It will get better. GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:55 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • Today my 3 year old took her bother pencil durig homework time so I put her in timeout and she sceamsed and cried and after her 3 monutes she got up said I am sorry to my son and then not a minute later did it again I gave her her own paper and pencil and she still took his so it was another time out for the same thing 3 times in a row after the third time I put her in her room to scream and cry while i tried to get my son so stop crying so we could finish his work he cried every time she took the pencil from him
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:57 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • Take a parenting class.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 6:05 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • It sounds like a 3 year old, you just have to do time outs over and over, I suggest not her room, but the same place every time. It really wouldn't hurt to take some classes.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 6:12 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

  • Maybe a different place for time out besides their rooms would be better, if her room has toys in it. I use sitting on the stairs as the spot in my house, since there's nothing to see or do there. Also, ignoring is your best friend sometimes. Put the kids in their rooms when they scream and cry, and no matter how loud they crank it up, absolutely act as ifyou don't hear it. Don't respond at all. Any response, even a negative one, is giving them the attention they want. When your son asks for something over and over, be a broken record. Say the exact same thing in the exact same tone, again and again. "No more juice, it's time for water. ... No more juice, it's time for water. ... No more juice, it's time for water." There's nowhere for him to go with the argument. The other thing is, don't give them dessert or TV or privileges if they aren't behaving. Go back to basics, let them earn their fun stuff. Good luck.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:47 PM on Sep. 24, 2013

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