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My 12 doesn't seem to show a lot of emotion

Some people say it's just a stage or phase of her life that she is going through. But after thinking about it recently, I noticed that she doesn't seem to show a whole lot of emotion. For example, when her grandfather passed away a couple of years ago she didn't cry at his funeral, and when our dog passed away about 5 weeks ago she acted as if it didn't bother her. She is a really good kid, very respectable to others, gets good grades in school. I have asked her if something is bothering her and if she ever needed to talk about anything she can come to me or her father. She always tells me that she is fine and things are ok. Is this just a phase she is going through or should I be worried that something else is wrong?

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Asked by average_mom_of2 at 8:58 AM on Sep. 25, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I did the same thing when i was young.. i never liked to show my emotions...i had some other issues do to things in my not sure if she has been threw anything... if not i say its a stage .. if you think something is wrong by your gut & she says she is fine..i eould let her talk to a councilor at school or something.. just to talk..

    Answer by Lauren1990 at 9:02 AM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • I'm an adult, and I don't like to let people see my emotions. It doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong. Some people just prefer to be more private with their emotions.

    If you really think that this is an indication of a problem with her, then by all means, have her see a therapist. But I wouldn't assume that she has a problem just based on this.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:05 AM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • For example, when her grandfather passed away a couple of years ago she didn't cry at his funeral, and when our dog passed away about 5 weeks ago she acted as if it didn't bother her.

    She doesn't show emotion or just negative emotion?

    Answer by feralxat at 9:08 AM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • There's nothing "wrong" with her. Some people just don't do the emotions thing. That doesn't mean they are missing a soul or something like that. It's not a phase it's who she is. She handles her emotions very well. There is no reason to be worried.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:12 AM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • Thanks for the comments and suggestions. Some times I just wonder if I worry to much. It's my daughters first year in Middle school and I know that it's a big transition from elementary school, and kids and some adults for that matter are not as nice now a days from when I was a kid and in school.

    Comment by average_mom_of2 (original poster) at 9:39 AM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • Our kids are mirrors of us. Are you or your DH like that?

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:29 AM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • How does she act when she's happy or excited? Does she show her feelings then? Does she engage with her world? Does she seem to have meaningful relationships in her life? If she does, then she just might be more stoic than some people. I was like that as a teen, still am sometimes. Particularly with deaths and funerals, which were the examples you used, I don't tend to break down or cry much. It's surprising to some people, but it's what works for me.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:10 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • Honestly, it sounds like that's just how she is. There's nothing wrong with that. I was always overly emotional, there was nothing wrong with it but sometimes I wish I could be like your daughter and mask my emotions better. My brother on the other hand doesn't show much if any emotion unless he's "forced" to. For example, he didn't cry when our uncle died, he never let anyone get to him at school (not that we could tell) but when his son was born his fiance told him that it would be nice if he'd show some emotion and he burst into tears and cried for a solid 40 minutes....

    Answer by collegexmamix28 at 12:35 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

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