Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Do you think I'm too selfish to have a love life?

I'm a 31-year-old single mother of a 5 year old daughter and I'm very involve in her life and live for her. I'm also a RN nurse and working in a nursing home for 6 hours a day Monday-Friday. My family has been grilling me because it's been 3 years since I broke up with my daughter's father and since then I've been focusing on raising my daughter and working, being in a relationship is the last thing on my mind right now. My family members, especially the married ones called me selfish for not wanting a man in my life and even questioning my sexuality and they know damn well I'm straight! Plus they said I'm gonna be miserable if I don't marry by 35 and say my daughter need siblings right now, like they have a right to tell me how to life MY life. I'm happy with my life is right now, my daughter is healthy, I have a job, we have a roof over our heads and food in the fridge and I'm not in no type of debt. Plus when my daughter is with her father for the weekend, I go out with my friends (the non-judgmental ones) to bars and restaurants and have fun. I don't need a love life to be happy andI'm also celibate as well. I'm not the type to bring any man around my daughter at all, that's not me. So do you think I'm being selfish for not wanting a love life?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Sep. 25, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • No, you sound more "smart" than "selfish" to me. Do what feels right to you, because only you can live your life, not others.

    Answer by 3libras at 1:42 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • Nope. As long as YOU'RE happy everyone else can shut the hell up.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:44 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • ^^ Ditto

    Answer by DJDNY at 1:45 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • Ugh! i was just arguing with this arrogant shit on facebook about this. he says that all single women that say they're happy to be single are liars.

    i don't think it's selfish at all to want to focus on yourself and your daughter and not deal with the bullshit that relationships bring.

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:51 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • I'd say to anyone pressuring you that you are doing the very thing that attracts a and loving your life without worrying about "finding someone." Cheers to you!

    Answer by tessiedawg at 1:56 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • Nope. They couldn't be more wrong. No looking for a man. A good one comes along when you are NOT looking, and will be a friend for a long time before he's anything more than that.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:04 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • I think most people who are in long-term relationships "forget" how to be single. I think about what my life would be like without my husband who in 9 years has never been away from me for more than a week (and that was just this past week! Before that it was never longer than 3 days!) and I picture my life being very lonely. I think people (like me) who are so used to not being single that we have a hard time imagining how anybody could be happy that way. HOWEVER, I, unlike some, realize that I don't need to understand why people are happy because it's not my life! All that matters is that you ARE happy. Screw other people's opinions. Maybe they're just jealous because they know they could never be as happy as you!

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 2:09 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • Selfish to who/what? Live your life how you want.

    Answer by anestheticsex at 2:12 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • Not at all are being a mother first, and this whatever makes YOU happy and forget what others have to say.....

    Answer by older at 2:26 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

  • It's your life. Their opinions are neither desired or required.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:30 PM on Sep. 25, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.