Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Im so lost. adult content

the last time I posted I had just had my third baby he was only 2 weeks old and I was asking advice because I thought dh was cheating. well now my lil honey is a year and a few months, and he is a total mommys boy! ok so we moved into our first house after going through all the problems I had breast feeding I finally got ds weened at only 3 months, not proud of it but everytime I would feed I would have theses horrible anxiety attacks and felt like I was trying to come out of my own body. I talked to my ob about it and she wanted to give me antidepressants but dh wouldn't have it. he said "do u wanna have to take medxd for the rest of ur life and u never know the affect its going to have on u 20 years down the line. so I had to just deal with it, no meds at all for my ppd, it was so hard! then he finally admits to me that he cheated. he said 4 times 2 strippers 1 massage person and a random chick at a gas station, he said it just happened. personally I think he went out looking for it im sure he put adds out on craigslist. ok so hes telling me this at 4 am and at first It was like I couldn't tell if it was really happening or not. then after I woke up and realized that it was happening I just kept telling myself no, no this isn't right. I went into denial about it all so my life just continued like nothing had happened. june of this year I got pregnant, didn't wanna b preggo had no want for another baby at all. dh wouldn't buy me bc and wouldn't use condoms and when I wouldn't have sex with him he would tell me that I didn't really love him and that all I do is cause problems. so anyway I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant the day we r moving to his mamas apt. cuz we couldn't afford the house anymore. well ok I take a deep breath and tell myself itll be ok. we get to her house and its nothing but drama and kaos the woman is old and fucking crazy and did nothing for 2 fucking months other than play games on her computer and complain to dh that I didn't clean her house the way she would. anyway I started bleeding at 11am on aug. 3. had no way to the hospital I called my mom. she didn't even know I was preggo told her what was goin on and instead of her coming straight over she took a shower and got dressed did her makeup b4 she came and got me. at the time I had some tapers in my ears u know to make the hole bigger well neway the first thing she said to me was "uve got to b kidding me?" talking abnout my ears mind u im 27 years old. but didn't ask me if I was ok or nething. and she was so worried about getting lost goting to the hospital that we were close to she went on a 30 min. drive and then got worked up over something and couldn't find her way to the front door and bitched the intired way through the parking lot. I get to the hosp. tell them im 11 weeks preggo and that im bleeding and they made me sit in the waiting for for 2 hours b4 I could even see anyone. they get me back to the room and after doing testing and waiting for three more hours the coldest lady came in and said im sry but u lost ur baby. I couldn't do anything. I was by myself the whole five hours and all I wanted was for someone to b there and before I could ask the lady if someonce could sit with me she was gone. I didn't know what to do. so anyway dh finally finished work and came to the hospital picked me up and we went home. I thought that I would pass everything but I didn't and about 2 weeks after I lost the baby I got bloated and started crapping really bad, so we went to the er. they told me that I needed a D&C. so the next day we went baack and had that done, but they had to keep me over night cuz I lost too much blood. the most fucked up part was they put me in the mommy baby area. where I could hear babies crying and it was pretty much like I had a baby they came in to check me every few hours and they didn't put a note on the door so I had nurses and other people that came in the room and started talking to me about my new baby and I had to tell them that I didn't have a baby. ok so we get home and the drama is still goin on I couldn't take it anymore. so we moved out to my parents one bedrrom house. not cool either but its better. now that were here im not afraid that dh is gonna knock the shit outta me so I tell him how it really is, that I didn't wanna b with him anymore and that I was done. told him he was a sry ass for cheating and everything that happened he told me that he couldn't be there for me cuz of the way I was actinkg. he fucking broke down and started crying and telling me that he has no one else and no where to go and that he would keep me from being with anyone else. now I know that all fucked up but its like when were not together all I do is worry , well is he fucking someone today, r they doing while hes talking to me on the phione. I just cant and don't want to take it any more but he always says that he has no where to go and my dumb ass feels bad for him. how to I made him see that its over?

Answer Question
 
mamasmurf171

Asked by mamasmurf171 at 1:20 PM on Sep. 26, 2013 in Relationships

Level 13 (973 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • KICK THAT MOTHER FUCKER TO THE CURB.
    Get a job, get on birth control, move out of your parents house.

    There's nothing else that needs to be said on this thread.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:28 PM on Sep. 26, 2013

  • OK, what is done is done. Don't look back just look ahead. You made the first decision which is a 100% right one to move to your Mom's house & now you have to take all his belongings & put them outside. It's over. He will never change. You need to make a new life for yourself & you deserve a great one! Ignore his BS crying. If he will not leave then call the Police to remove him. MOVE ON! Don't settle for anything less! GL to you & your Daughter. :)
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:29 PM on Sep. 26, 2013

  • WHAT? I couldn't read the whole thing... I caught excerpts from here and there, and I totally agree with PGA. You need to just move the hell along and keep that loser as far away as you can. There's a such thing called Narcissism, and with it comes a codependency. YOU HAVE TO BREAK THE CYCLE.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 1:33 PM on Sep. 26, 2013

  • Learn to say no and stand up for yourself. If not for yourself, do it for your son.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:01 PM on Sep. 26, 2013

  • Have your parents call the police, evict him from the home, as in today, go to court and file for sole custody, and child support. You are being a victim, and it is time to stop.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 2:15 PM on Sep. 26, 2013

  • This is what they all say. Do not believe it. He is not going to change.

    You have to believe in yourself. You can do this on your own. You deserve to be treated with love or at least respect.
    Your child deserves to be raised knowing that hurting other people is wrong and that we do not have to stick around and take it.

    Get yourself a job. Get some counseling (your son may need som as well) and start you new life knowing that it can only get better.

    By the way, these kinds of people will use guilt and threats and any emotion they can to get control back into their hands and it is hard the next time to leave. If necessary do not talk to him but tell him that any communication must go through a lawyer, if you feel even the slightest bit inclined to cave
    Good Luck.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:12 PM on Sep. 26, 2013

  • I'm sorry. It sounds like you've been through a lot. The first thing you need to do is take out the trash. As in, lose the loser you are married to. What an ass! Do it for yourself and for your children.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:18 PM on Sep. 26, 2013

  • You will never make him see a damn thing. What he sees and does not see is not your problem. Next time he comes around tell him you are getting a restraining order and will throw his butt in JAIL. That would at least give him a place to go!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:39 PM on Sep. 26, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN