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Was this good advise? adult content

So my babysitter is 17, she babysat last night and sometimes we get into deep conversations just before she goes home. She asked me flat out "how do I know I'm ready to have sex with my boyfriend?" So my reply was "has he given you an orgasm yet, if he hasn't then there is still more exploring to do before either of you are ready." ....shit I'm not sure if I said the right thing I mean I also told her to talk to her mom. But it's one of those thing you go back in your mind and could I have said something different. I just feel like it wasn't enough you know!


Asked by pinkparcel at 11:51 AM on Sep. 27, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 17 (3,845 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I would have told her that she needs to consider the consequences and talk to her mother about it. I would mention that while it is a mutual interest for both the female and the male to use protection, to never depend on anyone else to be responsible for her own fertility. I would strongly suggest she speak to a Dr. about using some form of reliable BC before even considering having sex. But mostly I would promote her communicating her questions and feelings with her mother.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:08 PM on Sep. 27, 2013

  • Good Lord, NO!

    If my kid talked to me and told me the convo, she would never be allowed in your home again.
    Since your nine year old shaking her ass is bad what in the world makes you think you can talk to another CHILD about orgasms and sexual activity?


    Answer by feralxat at 11:59 AM on Sep. 27, 2013

  • Just because someone is physically ready does NOT mean she is emotionally ready. IMO, if she has to ask she's not ready.

    Answer by missanc at 12:17 PM on Sep. 27, 2013

  • I knew I was ready when I knew I was going to marry him. I wasn't giving it up to anyone unless they deserved it. I also did not have an orgasm until I was having intercourse for a very long time. I don't think it was great advice, sorry :( Maybe re-talk to her again ASAP & explain what the other ladies here suggested.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:20 PM on Sep. 27, 2013

  • Wow, that was some really bad advice! Aside from the fact that the way every woman has an orgasm is different (which means she may not have one without intercourse), that was just not something for you to be talking to her about. You should have told her to talk to her mother. At most, the most you should have said was that she would know or that if she had to ask, she isn't ready.

    If my kid had come home and said you said something like that to them, my kid wouldn't be babysitting for you anymore and you would have gotten an earful from me about how you seriously overstepped your bounds.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:31 PM on Sep. 27, 2013

  • def not your place to have that conversation with your babysitter!

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 12:31 PM on Sep. 27, 2013

  • The OP told someone else's child to allow another child to stimulate her sexually until orgasm and then, once that happens, allow the child to put his dick in her.

    To quote from the other thread, "Is it a big deal, I don't know? "
    The OP does not know what is appropriate for children and what isn't.
    THIS is not.

    Answer by feralxat at 12:44 PM on Sep. 27, 2013

  • It was a good start. There's something to be said for that. I hope she's on birth control.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:59 AM on Sep. 27, 2013

  • feralxat, I remember that post as being about pinkparcel responding to her daughter's expressed discomfort with the dance move & her discomfort at feeling expected, as a girl, to do that in a routine that was part of rehearsals & a performance at school.
    It wasn't about the mom making a value judgment. She wanted to be responsive to her daughter's feelings.

    Wow, pinkparcel, I don't know but you can ALWAYS listen to your misgivings & continue the conversation with her. Let her know you feel uncomfortable at the thought that you might be the only person she'd consult with her questions; you hope that's not the case. And you could state that you didn't intend to give the impression that only one thing/factor goes into determining readiness. Also families have different values, etc. Just say what you want to say, leading with something like "You know, I've been thinking about what I said to you the other night, and..."

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:30 PM on Sep. 27, 2013

  • Ok so I called her mom, who I've known for almost 10ys. She laughed at me and her daughter told her about our conversation and that I seemed uncomfortable. The babysitter thought I might never ask her to babysit again. Nyway she told me she wished someone would have said something like that to her when she was younger, maybe she wouldn't have given it up when she was 15 and maybe her ex would have given her more than 6 orgasms in their entire 12yr marriage...........omg, lol Well I'm going over for a glass of wine later tonight. As for the babysitter I will try to stay away form sex talk and keep it about school or getting along with parents geez raising kids and saying the proper thing is hard.................thanks ladies

    Comment by pinkparcel (original poster) at 12:53 PM on Sep. 27, 2013