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2 Bumps

How would you respond?

My stepson--okay, in case it matters, I'm not married to his dad but we have lived together for six years and I've known the kid and been important in his life since ten years ago when he was seven years old--has recently started calling me mom. He has done it all on his own; I've never once asked him to or even brought it up. At first I thought he just slipped a few times because my daughter calls me Mom, and he had always just used my first name. But the last two times he has visited, he has made it a point to come up and hug me spontaneously, and say "Good morning, Mom." I've just hugged him back and said good morning, but not acted as if I noticed anything. Is that a good plan, or should I acknowledge this in some way? Should it be encouraged, discouraged, or left alone? This is surprising to me, and totally new territory, so I really have no idea.

 
Ballad

Asked by Ballad at 6:00 PM on Sep. 28, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Savor it every single time he says it. Don't question it right now. It is possible that he is finally old enough to understand that he can have two moms in his life, two women who love him enough to do all the things that a good mom does.

    Later on, in several years, you might casually ask him what brought about the change if you still want to know.
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 6:53 PM on Sep. 28, 2013

  • I'd just leave it. I don't think you need to make a huge deal of it. Boys tend to back down when we make big deals of things.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:14 PM on Sep. 28, 2013

  • Aww- he obviously finally feels close enough to you & feels enough affection for you to deem you worthy of that title. I don't think I'd say a word about it. Just soak it up & enjoy every second of it. :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:04 PM on Sep. 28, 2013

  • I think I'd sort of leave it alone and be glad he wants to call you that.
    Like gdiamante said though, if you make a "thing" out of it- he may back down. Teenage boys... ;)
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 6:36 PM on Sep. 28, 2013

  • Having 2 sons myself, I recommend letting sleeping dogs lie and enjoy the fact he respects you enough to call you mom.
    Young men tend to back away when confronted about their emotions.

    KTElite

    Answer by KTElite at 6:49 PM on Sep. 28, 2013

  • He is calling you what he is comfortable with. Mom is a lot better than some of the other names out there. LOL. If you don't like it then feel free to say something, but if you are okay with it, then just let it be. Saying something might make him feel weird about it and then it will be awkward.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:05 PM on Sep. 28, 2013

  • personally I'd test the waters on halloween or something w/ a card and sign it mom. suppose he is needing some sort of "okay" from you?
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 6:06 PM on Sep. 28, 2013

  • I'd be the one to poke the sleeping bear. I'd sit down and ask why the change in title for you. While you love that he calls you mom (and please don't stop) what has brought about the change?

    He may not have an answer for you, but he just might too. Or maybe have his dad ask him why he's now calling you mom. Even though I'm fairly fluent in "guy" I still don't always get their reasoning for some things.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:10 PM on Sep. 28, 2013

  • So how old is he? Teen? If he is a teen. I would let him. He knows what he is doing. Then only thing I would say is. "It is calling mom. I just hope your mom is ok with it."
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:57 PM on Sep. 28, 2013

  • I would let it be for now, but if this becomes an issue with bio mom, you might tell him it's ok with you if he calls you mom2
    musicmaker

    Answer by musicmaker at 9:02 PM on Sep. 28, 2013