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3 Bumps

If your teen was having sex?

Is teen sex that bad of a thing if they are using contraception? My oldest is 17 and started having sex with her bf of two years. I wish they had waited but now that it's happening I have accepted it. How has anyone else dealt with this issue?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:10 AM on Sep. 29, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • Let's not forget that even the best contraception can fail. How dramatic would it be for you if she got pregnant? Personally, for me it would be a HUGE deal.

    Answer by goldpandora at 5:58 AM on Sep. 29, 2013

  • It's a huge deal, but better to have them well prepared, and you know, than to be sneaking around. I wish I had prepared my two better .....would have done a lot of things differently. I wasn't pleased to learn it but the majority of teens are doing the same. Keep the communication open and make sure they know what can happen under the best of circumstances.

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:48 AM on Sep. 29, 2013

  • To me, it's a huge deal. There's so much more to sex than contraception (though I am happy that they are using that). The emotional commitment is huge. If/when they break up, how will that affect your daughter?

    But what's done is done. I heartily agree with silverthreads - keep the communication open. She is still a child and still needs you.

    Answer by May-20 at 7:57 AM on Sep. 29, 2013

  • Once they start you aren't going to stop them. Just make sure you are open with her and make sure she knows how important using two forms of protection are. I've been through this with my 16 year old and you just have to remember she needs your love and support now. Plus I was having sex at that age and I couldn't talk to my mom so I know how important communication is. Good luck, it's not the end of the world.

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 8:21 AM on Sep. 29, 2013

  • I dealt with it by talking to her all her life about it (self respect- respect for others- loving yourself- not needing guys to make you happy- consequences...) and when she decided it was time- she came to me about birth control, and we went the next week and got it for her. *she was 17 as well when that day came*

    I just wanted her to be ready, and safe/ careful about it.

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:31 AM on Sep. 29, 2013

  • Birth control. They are never left alone in my house. They might be having sex. But not in my house.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:05 AM on Sep. 29, 2013

  • I taught my kids there is a HUGE difference in birth control and STD protection. Just as I taught my kids we don't play in the snow in our swim suits and we don't wear church clothes in the mud- I taught them that there is not see with out BC AND a condom. Period. NO glove- No love. We had a lot of communication in our family. My DD's tell me that were 20 and 24 before they had sex the first time. They said no one ever called them a prude or anything else. Maybe it was the type of kids they surrounded themselves with though. I was diligent to 'screen' my children's friends while they were growing up. If I was uncomfortable with one of them we would talk it out. I did not always win- as in they still saw them from time to time- but I always left them with some thoughts to consider and it did not happen often..

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Sep. 29, 2013

  • I dealt with it like it was the most natural thing ever..and made sure they were well informed....and protected.

    Answer by older at 2:43 PM on Sep. 29, 2013

  • Put her on BC.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 7:08 PM on Sep. 29, 2013

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