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2 Bumps

Giving up career for significant other?

I have been with this guy for 6 months I care about him a lot but I am going to school to become a Pastor. Once I am done with Pastoral school next march they can send me pretty much anywhere to preach. The guy that I am seeing is trying to make me choose my career or him. Because when I become a Pastor we won't be married and he won't be able to move with me. So he is making me choose becoming a Pastor or him. What ya'll think?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Sep. 30, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (29)
  • I think you need to decide if he is worth giving up a career for. Ultimatums don't sit well with me so I would be gone, but you have to make your own decision.

    Answer by kmath at 10:09 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • Why can't he move as well? He doesn't have to live with you but he could move to be with you

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 10:12 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • All I can say is what I would do in your position. Someone that is willing to make me give something up in order to have a future with them will control my life from there forth. A loving partner wants you to fulfill your dreams and be a part of it, not stop you from obtaining it. If it were me, I would let him go. As I said in an earlier thread, ultimatums usually have the opposite of the desired effect.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:13 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • Do you really want to be with a man who believes he is more important than your dreams/ hopes/ aspirations?

    Answer by feralxat at 10:13 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • kmath: I cannot give up my career. I need to be able to support myself and my children. A way to support them and myself is more important than a relationship.

    Mrs_Prissy: He already said he would not be able to afford a place by himself.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:14 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • I told him there are many ways to still be together. We could do long distance relationships. There is even skype.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:15 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • I don;t think he truly respects and loves you if he's making you choose, dump his ass and continue on your career path.

    Answer by Sillylins at 10:19 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • I agree that a man who tells you to choose is pretty crappy. You have a family to take care of, they are the ones you choose and he hits the road. The man that is out there for you would not tell you to choose.

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 10:19 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • I wouldn't say it's an ultimatum, it's just life. He can't afford to move, and you aren't married...

    either find a job somehwere near where you are now, or let him go

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:21 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • Sillylins- I am going to be a Pastor so when I get relocated he cannot move in with me because we are not married. And thats against the religion. I choose this career path because I am big on ministry and it is a true passion of mine. I am in college for it now. And all he said was well you can choose another career. Um no I am not going to choose a different career!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:22 AM on Sep. 30, 2013

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