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2 Bumps

Everybody has baggage into a relationship? care to share yours.

I'll go first: I'm divorced, with a 4 year old son, I don't believe in love and I have attachment issues.

Answer Question
 
Sillylins

Asked by Sillylins at 12:04 PM on Sep. 30, 2013 in Relationships

Level 27 (31,211 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I was widowed young. It seems odd to me that it would matter, but the reaction I've gotten from some men has just been bizarre.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:21 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • My family is WAY messed up on my mom's side.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:08 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • Mine is black.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:08 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • When I met my husband, it was probably trust issues. I didn't even take him seriously the first 6 month of us dating because I assumed he didn't take me seriously. Sad, because I was so young and was already so jaded. But in 9 years my husband has taught me more than I could have imagined. I would be a MUCH different person going into a new relationship now than I was then (though I still wouldn't give complete trust to anyone without it being earned).

    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 2:07 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • I don't believe in joint accounts or pooling money in a relationship, andI won't ever put anyone else on the deed to my house. I'll never be told again that I have to find a new place to live, the faster the better. I'm not sure if I'll ever get married again, even if I'm asked, because I don't want to set myself up to make another promise I'm not one hundred percent sure I can keep.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:07 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • Baggage that I brought into my relationship with my hubby?

    Good grief! I don't think I can remember that far back into the ancient past!
    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 2:28 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • I had 3 kids and the ex from he!! peahen I married my husband - and he did it anyway!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:33 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • I have the biggest trust issue, with my boyfriend... I've never been so insecure until I met him.
    Imamommy14

    Answer by Imamommy14 at 4:21 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • My baggage is the stuff that gets triggered any time I'm triggered (any time my "buttons" get pushed.) Every time I'm upset, angry, irritated....is an opportunity to heal old stuff that is coming alive in the present moment. If I take the opportunity, it's possible to "deactivate" those buttons and put down that piece of baggage (rather than passing it along to someone else, which is what happens if we miss those opportunities.) It is hard for me to identify the specific things in a list, but yeah any time I'm triggered (defensive, upset, annoyed, furious, hurt) it's because of baggage.

    I have a history of childhood trauma. I encounter a lot of dysfunctional impulses & patterns, lots of avoidance & aversion.

    I have a solid relationship with a healthy, strong foundation. It (and now parenting) has been the largest context for healing old issues & finding resolution. Most of my baggage is a matter of defensive reactions.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:32 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • When I started dating husband #2, I was going through a nasty divorce. (The divorce took over 2 years to resolve.) I had major trust issues because husband #1 left me for his 24 year old pregnant secretary, and stuck me with $40,000 worth of credit card bills. ( I had no idea, I let him handle the bills. What he was charging, I don't know, I think it was porn) I had (and have) 2 kids with special needs, my alcoholic, blind mother was living with me, and I was recovering from cancer surgery, and didn't know if I was cancer free yet. To be fair he had plenty of baggage of his own.

    musicmaker

    Answer by musicmaker at 11:48 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

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