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I'm hosting a fancy dinner party for DH's birthday. There is a preset menu. How do I ask guests to help pay?

I will choose several bottles of wine to go with the dinner and I am sure that most guests will order cocktails too. Any suggestions? Guests know that it will be *fancy* at an expensive restaurant, and most of them live in S.F. and dine out regularly, so they are familiar with spending on a night out.
Any ideas? I am in touch with the host and will ask for his suggestions too. Thanks!

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Asked by redcarnelle at 4:17 PM on Sep. 30, 2013 in Entertainment

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • You either invite them to a birthday party as you guests or you don't. Party and guest means that you are hosting. You are hosting means that you are covering the costs. I am assuming that you have to the restraint that you will need an area for so many people. If you want someone else to pay their own way you say, we will be dining at XYZ and if you happen to be dining there that night please stop by and wish the birthday boy, your best wishes. Anything else would be rude, in my opinion.

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:28 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • You do not throw parties you cannot afford to pay for.

    Answer by feralxat at 4:29 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • You don't. How gauche.

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 4:33 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • Tacky! That's like like having a cash bar at a Wedding! Big NO NO! No one wants to go to a party for someone else & pay.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 5:24 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • You don't. I would be extremely put off by getting invited to a fancy dinner party and then being asked to pay.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:29 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • You don't. You can have them pay for their own drinks if they choose not to drink what you provide, but you pay for the rest.

    Answer by kmath at 7:00 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • Either host a dinner at home, or do something else.
    I don't think you should expect people to pay if you are inviting them to a party.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 7:14 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • I guess I get to be the odd one out here. A few years ago, a friend of ours wanted to have a surprise party at a restaurant for her fiancĂ©'s milestone B-day. We knew ahead of time that we'd be paying for our own meals & drinks, but wanted to be there to help celebrate his special day. She did the same thing for her dau (for her 18th) at a less expensive restaurant, and again it was a success. Of course it was just for close friends & family & we all know how tough things are nowadays.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:21 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • mrsmom110- were you told what the menu was and what your portion of the meal was going to cost?
    or was it more like what Dard explained?

    Answer by feralxat at 7:25 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

  • No. You don't. I'm cooking for 60 for my DH's bday because I can't afford to have his party at a restaurant but by watching sales and planning a well thought out menu I can afford to feed them a great meal in a more comfortable setting.

    Answer by idareyou at 10:58 PM on Sep. 30, 2013

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