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How can i handle this? advise please i don't know what to do. (up-dated)

please do not bash me cause i'm pretty sure their are others out there who are the same as me on this type of subject.

okay so i'm a mother of three and have been since i was 21 years old, i have a friend who is much older then me and she is a mother of two her oldest being 19 years old. i love her and her kids ( not romantically but sisterly ) her 19 year old is pregnant and i promised her that i wouldn't look down on her for it and that i would like to be there for her for another support person she could turn to but that's my problem i'm one of those type of people who looks down on others if they get pregnant before they turn 20 i have always been that way even before i was 20 and now i just don't know what to do please could some one help me with a little advice. p.s. i'm sorry that i do not have very good punctuation being the fact that i have a learning disability i am diagnosed with and the last grade of school i had completed was the 8th grade.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 AM on Oct. 1, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (16)
  • I know you said not to bash but who are you to judge her?

    You tell her you're there for support but you look down on her and you say you love her?
    Love is unconditional!

    You either support her 100% or get out of her life.

    Also, it helps to use punctuations!

    KTElite

    Answer by KTElite at 2:21 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Think about this. She's pregnant. What's done is done. What good will it do to look down on her now? Will it change the facts of the situation? Will it make her un-pregnant or over twenty if you, even secretly, hold her in disdain? She needs your unconditional support and love, not your judgment. You just have to suck it up, or walk away, because she doesn't deserve your condemnation and it won't help her a bit.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:27 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • So you tell her you'll be there to support her, but secretly you look down on her?
    You're an asshole. There's no fixing that.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:45 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • If you, yourself, have had three kids since you were 21, I can not see why you would look down on any one. I am sorry but it makes no sense to me.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:37 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Get over yourself. She doesn't need your CRP right now. Just stay away from her.
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 6:05 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Stay away from her. You were a mother of three at 21, judge yourself.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 7:51 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • You don't want to be judged for judging? LMAO

    If you have been, quoting you, a mother of 3 since you were 21, then you had at least 2 kids before you turned 21, which means that unless they were twins, you probably had a kid before you were 20. So, you are in absolutely no position to judge someone else for doing the same thing. And if we're really going to go down that road, did the 19 yr old graduate high school? If so, seems to me she's one up on you there.

    Be supportive or get of their lives so they have room for someone who will be.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:12 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • 19 and 21 aren't so different in the bigger scheme of things. Did you look down on yourself for having babies so young?

    What she needs is support. It doesn't sound like you can give that to her so maybe just keep things to yourself.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:14 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • i'm pretty sure their are others out there who are the same as me on this type of subject.

    You mean hypocrites?
    Yeah, they are out there. But most of the women here, are not.
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 9:30 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • If you're not comfortable, then own it and be honest with your friend and break the friendship.

    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:34 AM on Oct. 1, 2013

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