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My fiancé has never really taken to my 3 children

We have been together for five years on and off mind you and I don't think he has ever thought as my boys as his kids. He has one son whom he treats differently to mine. Will it ever work?

Answer Question

Asked by Allykat70 at 12:38 PM on Oct. 1, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I guess I wouldn't even entertain the idea of marrying someone who didn't fully embrace my kids

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 12:46 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Doubtful

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:06 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Mrs. Prissy summed it all up short and sweet, he would no longer be my fiance, and NO he isn't going to change.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 1:06 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • "five years off and on"

    What does that tell you?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:19 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Is that someone you'd really want for your children? Who's feelings matter more, your fiance's, or your children's?

    Have YOU embraced HIS child as your own?

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 1:53 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Then it's not going to work. Too many step kids get hurt or even killed by step parents or boyfriends who don't want to be fathers. I wouldn't even settle.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 2:02 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • If he hasn't accepted your kids wholeheartedly, that will never change and frankly, I'd end it. I know there are some people who never treat a stepchild like their actual child, particularly if the other parent is still in the picture, they draw that line - but even then, it's clear that the child(ren) has been accepted as part of the deal, and someone they not only can deal with, but enjoy being around. Basically, they do it in such a way that it's clear that it's "I love you, I think you're great, but you still have a mom/dad and I want to make sure no one thinks I'm stepping on any toes. I want you to keep that relationship intact while having one with me."

    It doesn't sound like that's what you have here. And the on and off thing is a huge red flag to me, as well. If he hasn't made up his mind after 5 years, he's not worth wasting any more time on.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 2:15 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • My vote would be no, after 5 years.

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:02 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Why would you be with a man who doesn't treat your kids like his own?

    Answer by louise2 at 4:21 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • No brainer. Why marry a man who doesn't adore your children?

    Answer by Ballad at 10:30 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

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